this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Breast milk is the only milk that can be vegan. It’s all about consent.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Those plants didn't consent, so...

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago

I can speak from experience that almonds are kinky little sluts and like to be milked.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Euphemistic milks?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So meat is vegan as long as the cows consent?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Man, Hitchhiker's Guide really was ahead of its time.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Technically yes. But of course they would (and can't really) do that. But you could also eat stuff like roadkill and it's vegan. Veganism as a moral philosophy has nothing to do with food, it's about respecting and granting animals the same rights as humans (as far as applicable, not stuff like voting).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Which would mean there's the possibility of this new short horror story I just wrote:

I noticed two new options in the dairy aisle today: human breast milk, vegan and non-vegan.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Yes, and vegans can also be cannibals for this same reason, as long as the person consents.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It all depends on if you consider yourself an animal, which, technically, we are.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I'm more animal than most

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Only if you define vegan as to strictly avoid any animal product (and define humans as animals). A somewhat looser Definition says to avoid animal exploitation.

So a product made by a non-domesticised animal in a natural way - e.g. Penguin guano - could be seen as vegan. The animal produces it anyway and the product isn't won through keeping the animal captive and / or "stealing" from it.

After all I wouldn't be too strict with definitions here.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Most honey wouldn't be vegan but perhaps an abandoned hive could be harvested. Or infertile eggs from an abandoned nest? Bits of sheep's wool collected from a spiky bush?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Yeah sure. Maybe you could make the argument that humans should leave stuff like that for other scavengers who need the nutrients to survive, and instead opt for plant foods. But at those edge scenarios you would then also have to take into account the impact that plant agriculture has on wildlife. It's quite possible that scavenging and gathering is the most vegan option, but seeing how it's neither viable for a lot of people nor something that often comes up in daily life, it's easier to just generalize vegan food as plant based.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You can drink from a well as that just gets water straight from the ground. Which well would be full of breast milk though?