this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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There are many shades of gray, but never absolutes from either side. Human communication mechanisms suck.
The imperfectness of two people communicating create new thought and new possibilities though, because compromise is necessitated and new things are learned or looked at in novel ways due to this process.
Imagine talking with a clone of yourself, who gets every joke, every reference, and can finish your sentences. At first you'll think "cool!", but after realising that you have nothing new to say to each other, you will learn not to even try, since why bother finishing a sentence if the other person knows exactly what you are going to say?
I used to be in such a relationship. On the surface, it seemed ideal: she got my jokes, same culture, same group of friends, fantastic synergy. It was also the most stressful relationship I ever had. Imagine being locked in a mirrored room with yourself. I now date someone with a completely different culture and language. Communication is a constant problem, but we work towards it and learn new things along the way constantly. It's not perfect. But perfect is a special level of hell, reserved for narcissists.