this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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Cancer. Sure, people realize you undergo treatment for a while. You may be in the hospital for a bit. You're very sick but you do your best. Eventually (maybe) you get to some state termed "remission." You're probably no longer being admitted to the hospital at this point. So you're basically all better right?
No. Not at all.
There are lingering problems that vary among patients. It's hard to explain. Very few people understand what it's like to feel under the weather for days, weeks, months. To live with the fear of relapse. To wonder if the chemo you underwent will cause you to develop a secondary cancer later. To have bone damage from steroids. To have increased sensitivity (read: pain) in many senses/ places from the courses of radiation. To have to fight harder for jobs if you lost yours (or didn't have one) and now have a gap. You may be such a determined, hard worker, but it doesn't take much to be seen as a liability.
Even if someone thinks they understand, they really probably don't. You dont even fully understand what's happening—today you wake up and just can't. You're tired. You're trying but you're so tired.
I can't get too upset, I guess, with people who don't understand. But I wish they could. Things may get better, but they'll never really be back to "normal," whatever that even means.