this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
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A friend is someone who reciprocates tolerable presence.
You don't know friends would make you happy, but they can help you pass the time in less pain.
I sure hope friends are better than just tolerable.
Let's go with enjoyable. Tolerable is like the bare minimum for how to behave around other people. Friends are more than the bare minimum.
A friend is someone who reciprocates enjoyable presence.
We're establishing a baseline minimum here.
I thought about that too. Though it hadn't made me wonder less. I have people I thought to myself may be considered my friends, but who I've discovered have occasional demons that make them unenjoyable to be around. To use an example even though I was never particular close to them, one came back from the military and it shows.
Though also this isn't to say I disagree with whether they should be considered friends, I mentioned once that the point of being friendship is prioritization. Just the other side of things doesn't sit well either.
I mean, my circumstances do make me keep my friends close and my enemies closer. Are my enemies secretly my friends?
No, you can be close with someone but not tolerate their presence. I've had this manifest as high maintenance friends that I knew a lot about and spent a lot of time with, but were ultimately draining to be around and asked too much of me to be sustainable.