this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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I’ve been hooking up with a girl i knew from my high school years for the past month now. She has no job and she lives at home with her parents. She hasn’t had a job since she got fired from her last job at a clothing store (about 8 months ago). I can’t say I’m in love although we do say i love you to each other. She kind of brought up the idea yesterday after we had sex. Not going to lie I’m a little scared. What should i do? Do i break up with her? Should i make an ultimatum that if she wants to move in with me she needs to get a job first? Edit: she wants to move into my apartment

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You said you're not in love with her, there's your answer right there. In my opinion, being that she doesn't hasn't doesn't have an income, the offer to move in should come from YOU.

I'm all about stay at home moms, but you're obviously not ok with her not working so In truth she has no money to contribute. You would essentially be taking care of her.

And that's why I say moving in together should not be up to her. I might being over dramatic but I think that's a little bit rude and entitled on her end.

I'm not trying to talk shit. But you'd clearly be taking her on financially and like I've said, that should be entirely your decision not hers.

Dude, no offense, but you're grown. You shouldn't be afraid to have this conversation with her.

My honest advice is to be straightforward with her and tell her something like

"I'm not exactly sure where we stand and moving in is a huge commitment. I'm not gunna lie, but the fact that you are not working or going to school concerns me because I'm not sure what you're are expecting with you moving in and not having an income.

Did you want me to support you financially while you stay home and take care of the house?

I'm asking because we need to be totally transparent here bc in the event it doesn't work out you're going to have to look for your own place, and I don't see how that would be possible sense you don't have an income.

I personally feel like we are moving to fast, and I'd prefer to wait a while before we jump into something like that. "

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago