science

Seems like you are in a tight spot. It must be immensely hard for you to feel the burden of "having to give" while it seems that nobody really cares about your well-being and gives back. I'm really sorry for you. It's obvious that you're far from happy about that. That's only natural. I bet most people would feel the same if they were in your spot. And yet, it really sucks that no one around you seems to see.
I can understand that you got exhausted by all of this and don't want to continue living like that any longer than you need to.

I hope I don't cross any line, whith the following. My apologies if that happens. Please feel free to ignore this completely if you'd rather not talk more about this.

Would you like to change your situation if it were possible somehow?

You said that you were misunderstood as "loathsome" and "toxic" when you tried to care for yourself. If it's okay for you to tell us more about your situation: How did that happen?