this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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I saw this post from [email protected], and I wanted to share it here to get more discussion because it is important. I'm hoping that this post won't crowd out any voices, and while I've tried to keep this post productive and inclusive, please call out any concerns and use the post if you prefer :)

The post I linked had concerns about increasing misogyny and sexism, how there are fewer women on Lemmy, and how that might be a part of the problem.


Before I start, for those that don't want to hear u/otter ramble again, some communities that you ~~should~~ could join and participate in:

.

Communities related to Women

Communities related to Men

.

There are also communities like [email protected] and [email protected], and you can find more areas I didn't think about on lemmyverse.net.


So one thing I wanted to comment was that there may be more women on here than you might think! Lemmy is anonymous, and the issue of low activity affects the men oriented communities the same way as the women oriented ones. By participating in the communities above, we can make that more apparent (ex. Mastodon has a pretty nice blend of people).

By saying this, I don't want to ignore legitimate concerns, but rather it's because I find statements like "this platform doesn't have X group" discourages X group from participating.


Now, in order to make this problem better, I think it might help to highlight the benefits and work on the risks:

Benefits to highlight

  • Backups: Lemmy allows for an official backup of existing communities for women. If the Reddit one is shut down (it DOES happen), the Lemmy one would be available for regrouping
  • Inclusive: Lots of people left Reddit for privacy/ads/accessibility reasons, including women. Everyone deserves a space
  • Empowering: The Fediverse makes it easy to run an instance owned, funded, moderated, and operated by women

Risks to work on:

  • Doxxing & Deletion: This affects everyone, but it might affect women more/in different ways. When there is something you want to get rid of, say because of doxxing/stalking/creepy behaviour, it's much harder to do that with federation. Some of this can be fixed by fixing federation, and some of it might come down to crowdsourcing legal help. Past that I don't know...
  • Moderation: This is Lemmy specific. Women-oriented communities attract trolls, as do other community areas, and Lemmy moderation needs work.

Growing communities

  • General community building ideas apply here as well
  • Trust would help in this case. Getting in touch with existing community moderators on Reddit, and setting up a parallel / sister community setup would encourage people to post here.
  • Anything else? :)
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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

I'm a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don't personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don't sub to any of those places you linked.

Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn't really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I've made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get.

I also mod [email protected] which as you might expect is largely although by no means entirely women. Any questionable comments over there are dealt with swiftly, I am absolutely not having it.

I don't necessarily see it as a "problem" that Lemmy is seemingly male-dominated (I say Lemmy because my Mastodon is very much female-and-NB-dominated). It's more just a fact of early adopters tending to the techy interests that skew male. But if someone does see it as a problem and wants it to change, there are basically two things to do:

  1. Make sure you're helping make Lemmy a welcoming place for non-males
  2. Invite your non-male friends

All that said, other women may disagree but I don't particularly feel like a minority on here and never really think about it until coming across something gross (which is a LOT less often than on Reddit, thankfully). There may be few enough women that I recognise their names often when they post, but let's be honest Lemmy is a small world and that goes for most regular posters in general.

(And it helps that I'm middle-aged so if any little boy thinks they can upset me with comments about my gender or appearance or whatever, lol, the self-confidence of age is a wonderful thing 😉)

Edit: Just wanted to add, if you're not a man and you're reading this thinking "wow she's lucky, I've had such a bad experience here" then first, I'm sorry you've had that experience, people suck sometimes. But also, drop me a DM let's see if we've got any interests in common and I can maybe signpost you to some more friendly communities and people. Between my two accounts I spend WAY too much time on Lemmy!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You echo my experience to a T. Sometimes people assume I'm a man to hilarious effect, but most of the time it's a non-issue.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Glad to hear other folks having positive experiences here too! Idk about you but every single time I've corrected someone for referring to me as "he" on Lemmy, they've actually apologised. Quite the change from Reddit!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It makes me happy to hear that :)

Also, I love seeing posts from [email protected], I've forwarded a few posts from there to friends that knit

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Woohoo! Get them over here, December is going to be SOCK MONTH it's very exciting haha 😄

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And Sweater Month too? How delightfully festive of a side hobby, regardless of climate location.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

DID YOU KNOW? Knitting isn't just about cosy socks and sweaters in winter, it's also a summer-appropriate activity with cotton yarns, lace patterns, cute home accessories and suchlike.

This has been your knitting community fact of the day.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Yeah I definitely feel like a minority here sometimes but when I compare it to rules of the internet era internet it’s not even close. The misogyny has generally been the sort I’m used to as an engineer. I probably shouldn’t be basing my standards on gamergate era Reddit, but it is way better than that

There are instances to avoid interacting with but generally they’re defederated from a lot of instances because they’re welcoming to conservative assholes.