As much as I am a fan of Spy x Family and Violet Evergarden, they are more for more mature audiences as they have quite the adult themes. Violet Evergarden is set in a war world and although the story is not set in the war itself, the flashbacks (especially THAT scene during the attack on the fortress) are nonetheless too violent.

Spy x Family might seem like a wholesome family anime but it has underlying political and war themes. Bond's arc as well as Yor's assassination techniques in Ep 2 is something that I would not really recommend to a nine year-old kid. There's car explosions and use of dogs for warfare

i heard your name is emotional damage. Am i correct? Never watched it

Spy X Family has some pretty dark storylines, hell episode one is one those very cases. I think it could be good for older kids and teens, but stuff like Bond's introductory arc is really heavy. I cannot imagine a kid reacting positively to the Handler's speech about her experience with war.

I'd veto Spy x Family and Violet Evergarden; the violence they have is quite brutal, and the themes I think are fairly adult.