this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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Yep I agree. But i wish there was a better approach to how people give that advice. Like there is a point where you.have maintained good social circles, and its time to find people who are actively looking for partners in places where thats appropriate.
Ive got friends who because they are already involved in many social groups and hobbies (but no potential dating options in those groups) are almost of the opinion that the only way they can meet someone is asking out their cute waitress or their cashier, which seems to oftentimes just kinda make someone whose just trying to work have to deal with an awkward social interaction. But to them theres something really tabboo or bad about pursuing dating apps or the like where they will be (in theory) talking to people who are there trying to find dates. Its just odd to me to go about it that way. Maybe just based off my own dating past, but I just cant imagine things evolving from just asking a random person out. And i know prople do that and it goes well. But also theres gotta be a better way to frame going to dating specific spaces that doesnt come off as cheesy and lame as I feel like it does tmost the time
I think churches and formal dances used to help serve this purpose. Still do for some groups. I can't think of any modern equivalent for the majority. Folks then have to find less than ideal alternatives.
I feel like the loss of "third spaces" has impacted this, too. There's a whole rabbit hole on that subject.
Yea those are good points. Ive heard some of the arguments about third space stuff. At this point in my life, many examples of third space places are completely uninteresting to me. But i have a full time job, a family, ect, so whether they were or were not available I dont think id utilize a third space. But i see their value