this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Dungeons and Dragons

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Earlier today I was browsing through shelves at a toy store to look for a last gift for one of my daughters. That's when I hear an excited voice ask one of the store employees 'do you have dungeons and dragons?'. I listen in and learn that they do not have any DnD material at all and also can't order it. I walk a bit closer and see 3 12 year old ish boys and a girl with disappointed faces. The employee also can't help them where to find dungeons and dragons products.

Now I live in Germany where you can't find dnd boxes at the likes of Target like in the US for example. In fact I know of 2 stores in the whole city which carry DnD books and material.

I step in and ask if I may help out with the question. I tell them that there are 2 stores which carry the books, dice and more on the other side of the city. They said that's far away but they'll try to go there in Saturday.

We get talking and they tell me about how they are looking to start a dnd club at school and also play at home. They got a set of dice and saved around 70 euros for a book and maybe some more dice and such. I tell them that'll buy them the players handbook which is a good starting point and maybe some extra dice.

They ask me if I played as a kid and I said yes, in fact I still do and I'll be playing tonight. That's when I made a weird decision in my head. I had all my stuff already with me so I don't have to go back home between work and game night. I opened my backpack and gave them my copies of the PHB and Monster Manual. They were super excited and actually insisted to pay me but I'd have felt bad taking money from them.

I didn't want to post this as virtue signaling stuff or anything. It was just kind of a crazy decision I made that I think was kinda cool. They just reminded me so much of me when I started out. We were lucky to get our first dnd books gifted by an older brother of one of our group's members. So I wanted to pay it forward. Now I just have to figure out how to run tonight's game without my books.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There will be tales of the mysterious stranger who gifted the party arcane knowledge before vanishing in the blink of an eye...

As the young adventurers rushed to their guild, ready to share the treasure they were handed by the kind traveller, they could hear seven canaries singing happily.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I stick one of the canaries up my butthole.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A floating frog adorned in royal garb appears in front of the canary and calls him "Lemmywinks"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Who am I? Just a friend. The way back has been closed by the great and noble Sphincter.

"Say what?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It transforms back into the Ancient Brass Dragon that it is, and rips you in half from the inside. Roll 20× d10 for damage

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

DM you've misinterpreted how gaping my butthole already is... This isn't some so tight it sounds like whales singing shit.

Besides, my butthole is where the entrance to my bag of holding is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It's more massive than any standard or even epic bag of holding could possibly carry, either you just temporarily banished it to a random spot on the Astral Plane, or it dumped back into your puny colon, which again is far too small to contain an Ancient Brass Wyrm.

Also in doing so, you just irritated the rest of the canaries, (all metallic ancient Wyrms) and the old man.

Roll initiative, and I certainly hope you can survive 6 breath weapons, I wanna see what Bahamut does to your impertinent person.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What is with Lemmy and the seven canaries guy? Like I know who he is but wow is lemmy obsessed with him

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's an avatar of Bahamut (the god of good dragons) and 7 metallic (good) dragons in disguise. You don't wanna piss off the old man or the birds. I normally have them as ravens, but canaries works.

Due to how the gods of dragons work, Bahamut doesn't have a lot on his plate, so he will wander the planes and see who is a murderhobo, that needs dealt with, and who is an adventurer that he will give a favor or token to