An oldie, but a goodie
this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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Oh that was in purpose! It shouldn't matter that I personally am angry. My employees should never NEVER try to prevent me from being angry but focus on doing the best job they can.
That's what I admire about Linus: he realized the negative impact his anger had on the performance of others - and fixed it!
To be clear: I can be angry - but my anger isn't the reason I want things to change. Being angry is MY FAILURE as manager!
Think about it in another way: do you want your colleagues do things they thin prevent you from being disappointed, frustrated or angry - xor do you want then to move your collective goal forward no matter what you'd think.
Another example: if I'd be the one to have caused this communication mess I'd want my employees to call me out - even though I will get angry the moment I realize I've fucked up big time!
Ignoring emotions is very unhealthy. I understand that it is seen as desirable in a business context, but it is very unhealthy and detrimental in the long run.
I wouldn't necessarily call it ignoring, if you just... don't explode on someone in a "professional" letter, if we can call it that.
I agree! Making someone aware of your feelings doesn't mean exploding. You can just tell them. "I am very sad, frustrated and angry due to your actions. Please don't do this again." Is very clear and hurts no one.
I apologize - it wasn't my intention to imply that at all! Emotional self management is a critical skill for managers - and that shouldn't mean "go away, emotions!". A trainer and coach I highly respect phrased it simply: "emotions are. They exist if we like them or not.".
What I intended to convey was "do not use a public platform to channel your emotions."
If this would've been a private conversation I would integrate an explanation of my current situation, feelings and context for my reaction. And also this sounds abstract it can totally be a "dude I'm absolutely pissed. I need you to work with me through this." (this works btw in both meanings of "pissed" ;)).