this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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Just turned 3 toddler has been saying factually untrue things and trying to get me to agree/repeat these things. They won't let me just ignore their statements and push for an affirmation. Not affirming leads to tears and a tantrum. I've been just saying 'ok' or 'I think you're wrong but ok' but mostly letting things go if they seem trivial like: 'Ice cream is not cold!', 'It's not dark yet!', 'Snow isn't white', etc... I've been mostly targetting statements they make about other people and their feelings or desires like 'You're not tired!', 'She doesn't want to sing.', 'He's not hungry.', etc... and letting the meltdowns happen in those situations but my spouse is concerned that I'm making toddler believe they can have their own facts outside of reality and that I should push back every time something factually inaccurate comes up. I feel like this behavior is probably developmentally normal and like everything else, we need to target specific things to work on one at a time. Thoughts?

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago

I'm not a parent but a teacher who has encountered similar things with students. This won't work in all the situations you described but you can try giving them affirmation by telling them they are very creative for coming up with cool ideas or stories. This can provide positive attention without conceding the point.

Also for some things like ice cream not being cold, you get explore the idea with them. Cold is, in fact, not a thing, it is just a lack of heat.