this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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That makes a lot of sense. And it really hits at one of the misconceptions a lot of those people have about cities: that they’re lonely places without community. Sure it can be, but it can also be a vibrant place filled with close friends and the rural town where everyone knows everyone can be alienating and lonely. Conservative mom doesn’t get that her daughter is actually part of a community, just a different kind of community built on shared interests more than shared location.
Too true. It is definitely possible to meet people and have a sense of community with myriad fun things to do.
One of the factors mentioned in the Salon article linked in another comment is right wing media propaganda that paints big cities as a hellscape with various ills directly attributable to Democratic leadership. So the right wing mom has a completely distorted picture of big city life.
Cities can definitely be lonely places without community, especially if you move to a big one as an adult. Seattle has a phrase, The Seattle Freeze, and it's not related to the weather. It's really just going to depend on the person, and their situation. Being in an expensive city without money can be really depressing. Being in a high culture city with a lot of money can be really amazing. And of course there are a million degrees in-between.
There can be a lot of community found in commiseration. Finding people who are going through the same thing and making friends with them will always make it better, even if it doesn't actually solve the problem.
I live in a rural "city," and I feel far more connected to the people around me in big cities when I travel than I ever have at home. Rural people only want to talk to people they already know and have connections with (which as mentioned are primarily location based,) while city people LOVE chatting with folks, finding common ground, and discussing differences.
I like visiting DC and someone practically offers me a job almost every time I go, 😂