this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
118 points (91.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43901 readers
1102 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Greetings.
I'm in quite of a pickle here, and just thinking about it will get me nowhere.

.

I attend a group hobby weekly.
Quite often we go for a follow-up hang-out in the local bar. I recall everyone else buying a drink and coming to sit down to have a chat.
I don't buy anything. I wait for the first of us ordering and then I follow them to the table.

One of our attendees has commented on my behavior twice so far.
First she said that I'm a bum. That I use the bar's staff and the place for my own benefit. There's a chance that she said that in front of someone else.
Last night she commented that I'm still doing this (we two sat alone for a while). She's afraid that they'll throw us out because of my behavior.

I explained that I rarely buy stuff from bars.
On the second comment I said that I'll probably continue this behavior to the end of times and they won't throw us out because everyone else spends money. And that my friend said that she or her friends do the same thing quite commonly.
I could have felt her loathing upon me.

I don't have the money to buy pricy consumables.
I have my own water bottle and sometimes snacks from a market to keep my belly full enough. Or then I don't eat anything and eat later.
I'm there because of the company.

The employees haven't commented anything about my behavior. I don't know, would they even care.

.

Thoughts?
Am I unfair or is she?

I'm thinking about asking her next time that should I just leave if I'm such a bother to her.
I'm also thinking about suggesting us to talk about this as a group.

.

EDIT: I don't think this is about alcohol. I believe most of them order something else cos it's late Monday and most people go to work the next day.
EDIT2: We don't have the tipping culture here.
EDIT3: Thanks for all the comments! You give my mind and feels some peace ๐Ÿ’—

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

You are not doing anything wrong. She is a bitch.