this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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Can't really relate, because I am only 24yo. Rant incoming;
Though I am sort of reluctant to try dating. In the past, I tried dating apps but they yielded no results. The women I matched with all ghosted me. Really did a number on my self-esteem. Who knows? Maybe I've got the face for radio?
And in all honesty, it feels like I've got to abide by ridiculous standards. The likes of being buff and tall, owning a car and house, a 6-figure salary, etc. I am still studying and trying to get my bachelor degree. All of these requirements put a ton of pressure on me. Is every woman looking for that? Of course not—that's not what I am implying. But from my personal experience it's certainly starting to feel that way.
Not surprised why redpill content is booming. They're not right, but there is truth to be found in some of their statements. In the end, I do introspection to identify my flaws and improve on myself. Nevertheless, even by doing all of that it feels like it's never enough.
The problem with dating apps is about the app themselves mostly. They promote shitty behaviours.
When you're ghosted, it çan be from 3 reasons: you're actually ghosted ; the person is no more on the app ; the person didn't really looked at your profile, or it has too many matches.
It is very hard on self esteem and on your appreciation of the other sex.
Dating apps are crap. You literally have a higher success rate walking up to a random person at a bar than with a first message on Tinder. They could be a good tool, but we live in capitalism so they are made to extract as much profit as possible, even if that means promoting toxic, mental-health-crushing behaviours.
It's important to understand that being on dating apps is not the same as dating in real life. We often see people in more superficial ways on apps and judge them in a way we wouldn't necessarily do in real life.
Women looking at men that way in dating apps is definitely a reflection on how they do in real life but it's amplified quite a bit.
Men are the same. How many times have you swiped left on a girl just because you didn't think she was attractive? She seemed really cool and like someone you'd get along with but she just wasn't attractive.
This again is a reflection on how men view women in real life but amplified. In real life you wouldn't be that harsh.
It's important to stay grounded and remember that everyone is just a stupid human who thinks they know what they want and may put high expectations on someone but often doesn't take a moment to think 'Am I all that though?'
Zero times. Always swiped right to increase my chance of getting matches. Didn't use some hookup app the likes of Tinder either. Used OkCupid since I heard good stories of it at the time.
I am well aware I may be an outlier. I know other men certainly do swipe left.
Though I agree with your points. After all, we're all thinking like troglodytes at times. We set unrealistic expectations. Think social media skewed our views of what's realistic and what is not.
Well, right about online stuff. I would also have ridiculous standards if there were 10x more women than men. Just expand your social circle and eventually you'll meet normal people XD
Man, I can relate, I was in a bad way when I was 24. I was very lonely and dangerously far down the incel path (though nobody called it that then) before I snapped out of it.
What I wish I had understood then is just how vast the bredth of human experience is. It may be hard to imagine right now given experiences you've had, but there are a lot of women who would be into you if given the chance. I know this is true because women are people. Quite a few of them are into men, of those quite a few are available and also yearning for a connection, and of those quite a few still are into some of your interests and particularly like various traits that describe you.
Rejection can be hard, but it only means it's not just right just now for just her, not that there's anything wrong with you.
Oh hey it's that redpill content they were warning me about!
Your theories are dehumanizing women. Women are not a consistent whole. When I hear you talk, it feels like watching a documentary about Siberian wolves at 4 AM on TV.
I'm not going to attempt to cancel you or anything quite like that... but you're full of shit. Real women are NOTHING like you describe. Stop pursuing shallow Instagram "influencers" and you might find peace. The Internet (and Tinder) is not the real world.
And by being so whiny and paranoid, you're being the opposite of the good masculine type you're preaching about.
I thought you said men built this world. Now you have a problem with the way the world runs? Sounds like some pinko leftist feminist hooey.
Wait, I thought you said men built this world. Now you have a problem with the way the world runs? Sounds like some pinko leftist feminist hooey.
Oh my god.
You realize this diagram implies that refuting the central point is built on name-calling and ad-hominems, right? xD