this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Dating is odd to me. I do not really know what my motivations are. If I actually find someone. What then? What will we do? How different will our relationship be from a regular friendship (besides you know what). And should it be?

Should you be wanting to do other things with your SO then a very good friend?

What I'm getting at is, have you ever thought to someone: "They don't really want a relationship they just want a one particular friend with benefits."

I don't know if I'm rambling over here. But I'm really having difficulty digesting this one.

Edit: The reason I ask is because I'm thinking to start dating again but I don't know my end goal.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Yeah, I'd say SO generally are like great friends (with benefits), but often, over time you end up doing so much stuff with them that they eclipse any other individual friend. And eventually (especially if you end up living together) they become such a part of your day to day life they can begin to feel like an extension of yourself (or rather, that you're both part of one being) and it's hard to live with out them. I remember laughing at my dad for wanting to phone my mum everyday when he was away on business. I'd be like "what do you even have to talk about? You see each other all the time" But now, if I had a day where I didn't at least message with my partner I'd feel so isolated.