this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

These players obviously and clearly wanted “the people”, not just adults, “to keep and bear Arms”.

To that end, I want nuclear warheads for the schoolchildren stat and I want to outlaw bullets, please. No I’m not kidding I’ll see you all in hell.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"School nukings" instead of "school shootings" 👌

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Breaking news here tonight a student at Oppenheimer High opened fire today with a nuclear warhead. We do not currently know the identity of the perpetrator. Police cannot enter to rescue victims because the radiation is too high. PPE against radiation will be delivered to the PD later today, but for now there is nothing they can do.

Concerns are being raised over civilian access to nuclear weapons. This is the second school nuking attempt this month. The first was at Robert Elementary where the warhead failed to explode. I'll turn you over to Jackson Lee with the latest on this incident. Jackson tell us what you've gathered.

LEE: We haven't learned much but police have deployed a drone to look more into this incident, however they do not know exactly how the drone will respond when faced with the challenge of radiation. We know during Chernobyl back in 1986 how helicopters would malfunction under the stressors of radiation. But that's all we know for now we will keep you updated.

Jackson, thank you so much for that valuable information. Now we turn to the weather for today, take it away Samuel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

And later on, you wouldn't believe it. A dog. On a surf board

Clip of a scared, wet dog on a surf board