this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Autism

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How do you get along with fellow autistic people? (lemmus.org)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
18 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

From what I understand, every autistic individual is unique and different from one another, right?

We probably all have different traits from each other anyway, so it might make sense to learn more about each other in order to get along.

What are your own thoughts about this matter?

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I get along with other autistic people about the same way I see non autistic get along with other non autistic people.

I find that I am able to connect with most of autistic people just fine. Communication is fairly natural. I don't have to dedicate a whole lot of energy when hanging out with these folks. If I'm not close friends with them, I can still spend some time with them and enjoy it in most cases. Every autistic person is different of course. Some are assholes. Some are nice.

I have a few in mind that just absolutely grate on me, though. One in particular will interrupt you while you are talking. They say they can't help it, but it does make me lose my train of thought and then I forget what is going on. And if you have a hard time keeping up with them (due to sensory overload), they will say you're not worth talking to and exclude you from the group. I find this person very difficult to get along with and very strongly dislike it when they show up to gatherings I'm at. I don't meet many autistic people I dislike a lot, though.

To contrast with non autistic people, I find it very difficult to communicate with them. I struggle with remembering context and subtext and have to take a lot of energy to constantly include this in my listening. I feel like an alien trying to communicate with the humans. A fair amount of people don't have the patience to talk to me or know me as more as an acquaintance, but there are a handful that don't mind my shortcomings. My friends that are not autistic, I like but it is far more exhausting to talk to them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I relate to this so much

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm au-dhd, and the person in the middle paragraph sounds like they both have one of my ADHD symptoms and are also a jerk. I try to remember that only my ADHD friends like to play interrupting tag, and while I'm bound to screw up elsewhere, I try to treat it clearly like I'm screwing up because it is an understandable default to let people finish their sentences.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Definitely! I know I screw up sometimes and I apologize because it is my bad for doing that, not their bad for having some trouble with it. We typically give each other grace. I know other interrupters that are not like the person in my previous comment, it wasn't my intention to paint them all like that.

This person treats it like your problem though. I used them as an example because I felt like it highlighted the fact that autistic people (or ADHD, or anyone with a disability really) can still be a jerk or a bad friend, even factoring in a reasonable amount of understanding for things they can't control.