this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 48 points 8 months ago

I'm a bit squeamish, so I arranged myself so as to be seated basically next to my wife's head, facing the wall, and was laser focused on holding her hand and maintaining eye contact with her.

Meanwhile, the delivering doctor was narrating a play by play as our kid went from just barely crowning to head fully out in three contractions, and then she just had to maneuver his shoulder free and he popped out on the fourth push. Three random things I will never forget from that night:

  • The doctor seeing the umbilical cord and announcing "That's a man that likes to eat!"
  • The doctor further complimenting my wife that she "rocked that thing out like it was her job"
  • One of the nurses looking into the hazmat bucket they'd packed the placenta into and muttering "Jesus Christ..."

Overall, 10/10, never doing it ever again.