this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
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Well done!
Boundary setting is so good. As someone who had none a year ago, I now have clearly defined ones and no problem being diplomatic when telling people they're doing stuff which I find steps over them. It took practise, a traumatic event, therapy and deep personal honesty to get there though. People either respect your boundaries or they're not worth the effort imo. We don't have to liked by everyone but people pleasing is hard to break out of as well. If someone doesn't like me now, that's fine. I know I'm valid and wholesome and for everyone, at the end of every day it's just them and their pillow like almost everyone else. It's easier to get to sleep when you didn't let someone walk all over you because it causes resentment.
Yes boundaries are so important and it can be terrifying when you come from a background of abuse and trauma. You just always assume the worse. Realising that you can stand up for yourself by being calm, rational and diplomatic is like being able to breathe again after holding your breath under water. I'm so glad you're at a place where you know your worth and your strength. I love seeing people empowered :)