this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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Same. I often find people identifying with "nerd stuff" and wanting to be seen as nerdy somehow annoying for exactly that reason. I didn't choose to be awkward or to have intense special interests.
I’d stop being awkward if I could but I wouldn’t give up my intense interests. You?
Interesting question!
I have the feeling that intense interests often lead to being awkward because it is assumed that "normal" people don't so this. If I start passionately talking about my interests, neurotypical people often don't get why I'm so intense about it and either find me boring, too much or cute (in a patronizing way). And having learnt to mask a lot and not show my interests, I often feel frustrated not to be able to share my interests. So for me, being awkward and having special interests are tied together.
But still, I'd rather be awkward than being such a boring person without the passion for their interests. I'm also trans and queer, and I wouldn't like to be a cishet person either. Although it sucks so much not fitting in society and frequently being discriminated against, I wouldn't be me without these traits. I would just be a very narrowminded, boring and passionless person I guess (I obviously don't know how to imagine being someone else, not meant to be offensive). In my utopia, people would just be accepting of others and different needs and expressions.
I’m a cishet white dude so I experience effectively zero discrimination directed at me, but I am on the spectrum.
I guess basically everyone I regularly interact with either is also on the spectrum or has intense interests regardless, or is used to people like that. Though TBF I have learned to not get intense if I’m in public talking to random strangers. But if someone asks me a question like, “how do computers work”, I will answer at great length.