this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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These are great. How did you learn these? How young were you? How do I teach this?
I actually learned those in reverse #2 first. I don't like fake people and learned that being your genuine self meant people actually knew the real you and liked that person. Pretending to be something/someone else meant you were liked for something you were not and when people realized that, they would have nothing to do with someone fake like that. But being your true self 100% of the time means that you will have opinions, feelings, likes and hates that are different from others. Peer pressure to conform can be quite bad, depending on your age. So it's not always easy to stand by the genuine person that you are. But in the end it's 1000% worth it. I have zero regrets about that.
That led to #1 eventually. If you spend your life worrying about other people's opinions of you, you have no time to actually have your own opinion of yourself, or a life. Self respect is about actually being the person you want to be. Can You live with yourself based on your actions in life? Because You are the only one who has to live your life. Making decisions based on others opinions has it's place, but only when you decide that the person you are listening to has a valid respectful opinion. Respecting yourself first helps you learn to respect others. Knowing you are a good person and behaving like one makes it really easy to dismiss other people's opinions of you, especially when they are negative or misplaced.
Not sure how you would teach that. I only learned this by being around people that did the opposite of those two things and I decided I just didn't want to be that kind of horrible person.
This is the only life we get, and only you get to make the rules for yourself.