this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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Basically the out of a simple pull of the trigger is too easy. Easier than jumping off a bridge, relatively painless, quick and doesn't injure bypassers.
Having the gun is too easy an out, so people with suicidal thoughts will stay away from them. I was like that too at 22. Here's just one of many stories. Trigger warning for suicide (duh)
If Quebec, Canada had the same access to handguns as the US, I would be dead today. Simple as that. Instead, I failed an attempt to jump from a viaduc because I was scared of causing a collision and taking someone else with me, was sent to the hospital by the police, got a psychiatrit's help. Turns out I wasn't a lazy worthless piece of shit. I had an untreated, very powerful case of ADHD blocking me from accomplishing anything of value.
I am no longer suicidal. I've overcome that. However, I always worry that those feelings will one day come back after a series of bad decisions. I am, therefore, keeping things that would kill me in an instant without pain away from myself. You just never know when you'll have a moment of weakness. If I thought to off myself once, I can think of it again.
I guess my initial comment, for me, was the perspective that it is common enough to have this many people openly talking about it in this thread very nonchalant, like that is the norm. There are a thousand reasons not to own a gun, that reason seemed a little specific, then others chimed in that were on the same page. It just surprised me. I am glad you are doing better and I hope you remember how temporary those feelings are if they ever come back.