Dipshit. It's my favorite insult. If you call a man an asshole or fucker, many take it as a sign of strength or say, 'i just tell it like it is." Dipshit is stupid and juvenile and naive and just perfectly describes so many people.
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Oh, that's why I like "dipshit" so much. Now I understand myself better, thanks!
He'd peel an orange in his pocket
He has two brains cells and they're both fighting for third place
He's a face like he's trying to eat an apple through a tennis racket
The tide wouldn't take her out
Scarlet for your mam for having you
Your arse is jealous of your mouth
Snipers dream
Spanner
I am a native English speaker and had to Google "peel an orange in his pocket". It does not mean what I assumed.
Non native speaker here and is the only of the 2 I didn't get. Spanner is the other one.
Spanner is British/Irish means idiot or tool. See also muppet.
Your father smells of elderberries.
"Your mother was a hamster!" is pretty self-explanatory though.
But elderberries smell rather nice. Or at least the last elderberry jam I had was quite lovely. So that certainly makes for a confusing insult.
They made booze from elderberries. The insult translates to "Your mother is a whore and your father is a drunk"
Good booze, in fact... I've had an elderberry wine and it was awesome
Non native here: I even saw the movie.
In Australia, β40Β’ short of a shoutβ is unlikely to be understood by visitors.
Even as an Aussie I haven't heard that one.
Non native didn't get it... Sounds like a reference of a specific event.
Means they're 2 bob short of a dollar
Somehow this doesn't help... :)
Not all there in the head basically.
6 pack short of a carton
2 short of a dozen etc
2 fries short of a happy meal
"Bless (his/her/their/your) heart"
That's not an insult as the internet has decided. It can be used sarcastically, but in my experience as a southerner it is more often a compliment for doing something nice.
You had a different childhood than mine. It was code for "they're a moron".
South Louisiana here. It can be used affectionately (seeing a sick child and saying Bless your heart) but I find it is more often used to point out someone's lack of intelligence or bad behaviour (Karen is pitching an absolute fit in the checkout lane at Albertsons because she misread a price label...Bless her heart)
Maybe you're from a more polite area of the south, but where I am we are heavily into calling out morons.
Itβs used both ways, itβs just context dependent.
In Australia, being a total bastard is a good thing, while being a bit of a bastard isnβt so good.
Mad cunt = good. Shit cunt = bad, see image
There are some southern or appalachian insults that I'm sure would confuse foreigners, even those who are functional in English.
Comparisons like "He's twelve ounces short of a pint", backhanded compliments like "I just love how you donβt care what people think", idioms like "three sheets to the wind". And then of course there's "rode hard and put up wet".
There's also "bless your heart". Around here if someone tells you that, it is not a compliment.
"You make a better door than a window."
"He don't know shit from shinola." [I've never asked what "shinola" is.] EDIT: Another one my Dad uses (Oklahoma born and bred): calling someone a "mudcat".
Calling someone a Muppet. In NZ (and to a lesser degree, UK/Australia), it's a common thing to call someone who's being an idiot. Not sure why. I think as a nation we generally like the Muppets, but not someone who's being a Muppet.
Does your face hurt? Because my eyes hurt.
Non-native. I got this one.
"Crayon eater", this one is specific to members of the U.S. Marine Corps, it can be used affectionately, but it's very context dependent.
Fucktard
Heβd be a great snipe hunter.