this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I prefer regular foods that help with constipation, not meds.

UPDATE: I forced the shit out somehow

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Try not pooping for 3 days. This tricks your body into no longer being constipated

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's what got me constipated in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yo, didn't notice it was the same person

This is hilarious

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The profile picture is super memorable to me, for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

WHERE'S THE EXPLANATION OF YOUR SIN.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So I'm going to assume the no poop mission was a success.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

It sure was. The resulting constipation was hell though.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I managed to force the shit out somehow thanks everyone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I am happy for your achievement. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So are we going to get an explanation on the 3 poopless days?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Sorry but I really can't 🥲

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love these posts. But Imma be pissed off if we find out mizu is Gallowboob or some fucker like that from reddit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

mizu is what

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So you gave yourself constipation in order to not poop for 3 days... can you tellbus what you were doing now?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I’m so confused on this dudes post history. Intentionally clearing himself out and giving himself constipation but with access to toilets and an air conditioned tent??

This is either the biggest shitpost ever or some kind of evacuation fetish.

Shits crazy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I’m utterly convinced at this point this dude is pranking us HARD. 🤣

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Long walks and much water. Also try eating prunes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

This is the way. Oatmeal or anything with high fiber will help as well.

However prunes or are really where it's at.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Prune juice, coffee, and any spicy foods.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks a lot imma try them all at once

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

You joke, but old school nurses do just that: mix prune juice, coffee, and milk of magnesia. They call this combo "The Bomb" lol: https://drslusher.com/constipation-remedy-or-the-bomb/

I'm more inclined to tell you that while I appreciate your commitment to a natural remedy, Miralax (polyethylene glycol powder) is the most effective remedy in my personal experience as a nurse. For what it's worth.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I'll just say that there's a reason for the old people eating prunes stereotype.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The classic way I know of is a large black coffee and a bran muffin. If you can manage to get stuck in traffic about an hour after you eat, it increases the odds of it working.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Thanks for concluding the saga for us @mizu, it's been a wild ride.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Miralax! Works for my toddler. 😂

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Big glass of regular cow milk.🥛

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Wait for the next update. This meme cow isn't nearly through with milking yet.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Anything with lots of fiber, especially darker leaves like kale. The less cooked, the better. But a warm enema can also help a lot in a dire situation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I take kratom, an herb with opioid properties so I deal with this a lot. Prunes and other dried fruits have sugar alcohols, which work for a lot of people, coffee is ok. I take magnesium and fuller supplements, so try bananas and oatmeal if you wanna do this with just food.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Idk if that's available in my area but I'll try to look for it. Thanks.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Psyllium husk.

Not the most pleasant thing to mix with water, but god damn that poopy powder is incredible. It should be part of everyone's daily habit, it's so good for you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Let me introduce you to my girl here. 😁 Acupressure Points For Constipation

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

My wife swears by dried apricots. Make sure you are in a well ventilated, prefeably unpopulated space as you are going to produce some gas that will make your eyes water.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You could try the mathematician's approach and work it out with a pencil!

(but yes, an enema and fibrebare the correct answers

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

So, did you need a poop knife?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Xylitol, one of the common substitutes for sugar in sugar-free lollies has a laxative effect, so you might be able to munch on a pack of sugar-free gummies and shotgun it out your backside.

Whether your toilet will be in a usable state afterwards is another story altogether.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Arby's. Makes Taco Bell shits weak mild in comparison.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Really hot peanuts help, look up your closest Indian grocery store they usually have the nuclear stuff.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There is a saying in Spanish that says: "coffee and cigarette, mud doll" xD

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Personally, I've found binge drinking to be the most fun way to clear yourself out.

After that, lots of greasy foods will grease up your insides.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The advice is good but also consider going for a hard run. That usually helps me. There is a lot of data to suggest healthy digestion requires regular movement and particularly exercise.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Consume at least 2 liters of water. Consume foods high in fiber, such as vegetables. Poop on a daily basis. These prevent you from being constipated. If you are constipated, you can take a half-hour sitting bath in the bathtub 2 times in the morning and evening

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Drinking way more water has helped me a lot. Where my hydro homies at!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Raw dragon fruit is like natural laxatives

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