Sex, religion, politics.
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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Must make for some wild elevator rides
The weather is a good starting point. How was your weekend? Any thing good planned for your holiday/ weekend? If they’re a talker they’ll fill in the space, if not then they’ll give perfunctory replies and you can revert to happy silence
That's a great strategy, I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm in those situations too, just so I have to do as little talking as possible. People love talking about themselves too so I pretend to be interested in the bits they share about their life.
I guess it's just a bit hard to roll with it when you're really not interested at all, there are people with whom I like making chit chat. Others I have nothing in common with and it's an absolute chore.
Make the questions a game to try to unearth the thing you would find most fascinating about them.
That's a good suggestion, I don't know if I could keep it honest though, I may end up trying to unearth the thing I find the most repulsive.
I had a BFF who was great at this. They'd just say: What are you up to, where you from, how do you know [mutual friend], etc. Then once the other person started talking, look for things you have in common: oh yeah I went to [location] I really liked [whatever], I know [person] from there too, hey I heard [a relevant news item], etc. You have to judge how much to talk vs listen.
CAUTION: if you're interviewing someone for a job there are often rules/laws about what you can ask. And if you're coworkers it's best to start out focusing on the job: What project are you working on, are you familiar with [task], are you looking forward to [deadline/event], etc.
Just don't. Be comfortable with silence.
It's very hard