this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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Scientists have found microplastics in human penises for the first time, as concerns over their proliferation and its potential health effects continue to mount.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

It seems to me, the reason this was found for the first time, is because this was the first time someone bothered to look.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Mine got BIG plastics.

Or something

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

(Tim Meadows voice) "Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I do not think there should be plastic in a man's wang"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

If you apply a steady "milking" motion to the penis over several minutes, you will eventually coax it into releasing some microplastics from the tip. Believe me, if feels good to get rid of those microplastics.

Practicing this regularly will keep your penis microplastic-free.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Hi I'm an expert at removing microplastics. Fellas, if you're finding them in your penis - contact me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Instructions unclear. Now I’ve got “Raw Milk”.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

More importantly is it hard or soft microplastics.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well if there's a possibility an event will start a movement to fix it, this is the event.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

This or proof microplastics cause male pattern baldness

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’ve kind of accepted my fate as an organic container that holds plastic.

[–] solsangraal 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] solsangraal 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

i think that's the idea: we eat food from plastic containers, and then become containers for the plastic. in our dicks apparently

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

And balls… don’t forget the balls. Apparently they hold more than just pee these days.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It was only a matter of time, they first found microplastics in a man's testicles. Scientists finding microplastics in a man's penis was bound to happen sooner or later. Hopefully, this will inject a strong sense of fervor in the quest to filter or destroy microplastics in the environment. Also, to reduce the usage of plastic in general!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Obligatory defeatist response:

Until it becomes cost effective to reduce the use of plastics, or a personal tragedy of someone close to a big enough decision-maker, the status quo will remain the same.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

The majority of microplastics found in the human body are tire rubber that gets breathed in. So all we have to do is ban cars.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I know, I put them there

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Hey! Who told you anything about my penis was micro?