Faster Purple Worm! Kill! Kill!

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Faster Purple Worm! Kill! Kill!

Faster Purple Worm! Kill! Kill! is a group of actors and TTRPG hotshots who sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons against legendary opponents.

Your host, Bill Rehor(right) and his evil henchman Matthew Lillard(wrong) assist in weaving a hopeless tale of underdogs and unbeatable odds.

Scott Passarella delivers the soundscapes of fatal fortune.

Streams every Thursday and Saturday at 9pm PT on the D&D Adventures Streaming Site and you can find Videos on Demand with the Plex app.

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Episode 16: Everyone Dies at the Temple of Lathander

Tonight, four criminals attempt a daring heist. Can they steal enough gold to save their own skins?
No.

I believe it was the famous Indian Revolutionary Mahatma Ghandi who said: "Learn as if you will live forever..."

DM - Jared Logan
Priest of Lathander - Bill Rehor
Orphan - Ross Bryant
Alister (Gnome Rogue) - Matthew Lillard
Juniper Sands (Half-Elf Rogue) - Katie Wilson
Knickknack (Tiefling Rogue) - Luis Carazo
Kruman (Gnome Rogue) - Skeet Ulrich

The scene: Waterdeep. The jewel of the Sword Coast. A massive, sprawling city of spires and turrets and minarets? You are in the castle ward near Castle Waterdeep. This is a "high-end" area of the city. There are many lampposts.
You are looking at the Spires of Mourning. They are the temple of the god Lathander, a god of good and goodness.
But your characters are all evil. The sun is setting on Waterdeep. A light rain is falling. From one of the lampposts, there is a serpent coiled around it and it has a pair of dirty wings. You know that you are under the watchful eye of the Zentarum.
Cut back to 7 hours earlier. You're deep inside one of the Zentarum's many safehouses, here in Waterdeep. They're located in places you'd never expect them to be located. This one is behind a nice restaurant that does an excellent scone. You're all enjoying delicious scones.
"Would everyone stop talking about the scones?"
This, of course is the voice of Argor Vuun, a name that sounds made up. He has a lot of rings and he has one of those very sharp, little goatees. He's got one eye that's red and one eye that's blue. Coiled around his wrist, he has the aforementioned serpent, his pet. He reaches down and pulls up a cockroach out of a small box that he keeps for keeping cockroaches in...and he feeds the cockroach to the serpent. He looks at you and he says,
"What do you all have to say for yourselves? You shouldn't be making jokes, you all owe the Zentarum (Faerun's notorious criminal organization). Within the next seven hours or so, I want you all to go to the Spires of Mourning, in the castle ward. There inside the Temple of Lathander, is a very powerful and sacred artifact: it is a belt. It's a belt that ties up your private parts so that nothing sketchy goes on. It doesn't matter why I want it. You will know it because it glows with a holy light. and it perfectly encapsulates the glory of Lathander. You'll find it in the Sanctorium. Beyond the Great Hall. I want you to bring it back within 24 hours or your lives are forfeit!"
He slowly slinks back into the shadows, even though it's a small room and he doesn't really have anywhere to go.
It is now seven hours later and you're back on the streets of Waterdeep. Ahead of you is a pair of huge oaken keep doors. In front of those doors are the soldiers of light, Lathander's sacred crusaders. They're standing with their hugs swords at their hips. How do you intend to get inside the Spire of Mourning?

Highlights