"take the poop bag out of your mouth"

Walking the dog with 6yo son. It's a double deuce event. My son wants to pick up the second deposit, so I let him. He asked me to tie the bag for him, so I asked him to hold the one I picked up earlier. We continue home each carrying a bag of poo. I look behind me, and he is paying attention to I don't know what, but while he is staring off in the distance, he is unconsciously rubbing the bag of fresh poo on his lips.

/Sigh

Apparently that one wasn't as obvious as I thought it was.

"don't eat with your toes"

Kid was plucking food off her plate with her toes and eating. But hey, at least she was eating food that wasn't Goldfish.

"This show is just garbage."

I mean my son was watching some YouTube garbage. I get the appeal of things like Vlad and Nicki or The Diana Show, kids playing with an obscene amount of toys, but this was just tween nonsense of getting hit in the groin, fart jokes, ball jokes, body shaming, a bit of racism, destroying stuff without regard for safety precautions (I'm pretty sure there were no adults present), foul language (I'm not a never-say-swear-words parent but saying one every 30 seconds is excessive), and mild sexual humor. Be careful about letting your kids watch YouTube either on their own or without being signed in.