this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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[–] [email protected] 230 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’m discovering levels of brown nosing I’d never have thought to exist.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

~brown noser~ Attention whore.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Well he said he was “proudly” being arrested so his followers will jump right off that bridge after him. It’s a remarkable thing to watch.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Whore noser

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Their nose will be so brown they will start hating it for... reasons

[–] [email protected] 156 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is this MAGA-world’s version of the crucifixion now? “Our lord and savior Trump was booked, photographed, and released on bond for our sins.”

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago

"No, I'VE been arrested!"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I’m cracking up

[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“I’m not…for the time being, but I stand with them! They are coming for all of us, eventually."

Rofl yeah when you are part of a conspiracy to commit a coup you deserve to be rounded up and jailed til trial.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago

They're coming for all of us! No shit, you committed crimes, people tend to get got for those

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Trump will surely pay her bail for being so loyal

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I already knew it was a cult, but wow, it really is a cult

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

When do they get to the part where the men in the cult are snipping off their own nuts and buying black Nikes? My fear is that this cult won't direct their weird tendencies at themselves, but instead, others.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 year ago (3 children)

“Lmao, the Onion really is on a roll these days!

…oh for fuck’s sake”

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Honestly I feel bad for the onion, our society took their jobs from them. We went full r-tard. You never go full r-tard.

(It's a movie quote, please don't crucify me lol)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

We went full Linus. Never go full Linus

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

You can say retard on the internet. It's okay. It's a word that clearly represents the reality you're referencing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would feel so owned if other conspirators did this too.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Yeah! Maybe they could pair it with their hypothetical crimes for added immersion too!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do we get Trump to literally smear himself in feces just so his followers will do it too? (Although I wager many of them are way ahead of him there already.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I thought that's how he gets that orange color.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago

What a fucking dork.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

Aww shit, is this now going to be a thing?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Its like when your kid picks up a banana and starts dialing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Even the kid does it sarcastically

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Book a doop a doop!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Yeah this seems like a sane and reasonable reaction. 0.o

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

She's cringe

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Simp-cuck bootlicker. Pathetic.

Edit: holy shit, she’s made of play-dough.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Jan. 6 Rally Organizer Created Her Own Mugshot Because She Felt Left Out

....wait....what?! 😦

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was gonna say "wow, we're reaching new levels of pathetic", but this is actually a pretty common low to sink to, when you think about it. Still funny, though, which I think really speaks to the immortality of watching someone debase themselves for grade-A Loser Clout.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn’t using that logo a crime? Like… pretending to be a cop, or interfering in an investigation or something?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine being arrested for making a fake mugshot for clout.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Do you think she’ll be crying in the real one?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Is there anyone in law enforcement that can make this deplorable feel included?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

She looks like she just stopped growing up at about 14, and all she's done since then is age. Poorly.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

they will end up drinking the koolaid, dont they?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

The sooner they get on with that so the rest of us can make progress with literally anything that benefits the general public and marginalized communities, the better

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Let them roll and cry in their puddle of being repressed by the system a little more, it's all they have.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It's orange juice silly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

If she turns herself in I'm sure she has evidence of some crimes she committed

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Peak self victimization.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

One of us! One of us!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

She definitely defends Paula Deen with "it was a different time"

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