A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
Cleaning up the kitchen every night.
Used to leave dishes in the sink during college, then do them when it got full. Got a side job as a bartender, where you had to clean up every surface after the last shift, ready for people the next day. Applied it to home. Has stuck ever since.
Fortunately, married a woman who had the same habits. We've never gone to bed with a dirty kitchen, even after a group gathering.
My wife is super clean -- I joke that her "light cleaning" is sanitized enough for major surgery. And I'm an absent-minded slob. But she gets me to do my part, usually through heckling and pinching, and our kitchen is usually clean immediately after dinner. If we have guests, well joke and talk in the kitchen while the things are done. Kitchen parties are the best anyway.
Put everything I need to remember in calendar, reminders or just set a timer. Since I started doing that consistently I never forget anything.
Deal with things immediately if possible or schedule it. That also means cleaning the kitchen after I’m done eating or even while cooking.
Never close the door without me seeing the keys in my hands with my own two eyes. Even if I’m 100% sure they are in my pockets, I will pull them out again. I have locked myself out two times already, won’t let it happen again.
I got in the habit of having my hand on my key when I close my door as well. If I'm at an office with a prox badge, I'll touch it once as a habit. It's saved my bacon more than once as I realized I was about to go to the loo (which required a badge) while my badge was back at my desk behind this door I'm about to close (which needs a badge). Bonus for the times when my phone's not with me.
Furthering that OCD, I also try to have my phone my in hand when I leave the desk. I sustained a back injury a year ago and I'm still getting it addressed; if I have a relapse I can't go get my phone but must call out from the floor and wait for help. It's less embarrassing if that's with a phone.
Exercising. When I hit 30, my metabolism wasn’t what it used to be and my appetite didn’t slow down to match. To stay a good weight, I decided either I’d have to eat less or exercise more. I chose the latter.
I formed the habit through the pandemic, but in the time since I’ve strengthened it further. I run, swim, and ride.
I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been and exercising during the week is just part of my routine. I think I’ve baked it into my life enough now that it’s here to stay.
Starting a daily productivity log. It started as a google form but has morphed into a larger spreadsheet. It contains:
Each row is a day. It also includes a section for bucket list and yearly goals and whether I achieved them.
I don’t fill it out every day and I don’t fill out every field each day either, but I do try to not get more than 10 days behind.
It gives me a sense of purpose. It helps me remember what I’ve done, so days don’t just slip through my fingers. It also, I think, shows how I’ve grown a bit as a person.
It became really special when I was able to bring it out during my wedding vows. I wrote down on paper many of the things my SO and I did on our adventures and got to share them with our friends and family.
I have a tab for each of the last 15 years.
Something like this would cause me a deep depression in month.
Stealing this idea. Thanks for the inspiration.
I have also stolen this idea and give it as much as one (1) week before I forget that I'm doing it.
Not drinking. It's a habit I started after nearly 2 decades of being a terrible alcoholic lol
You forgot the "how"
'found other less problematic drugs' probably
Doing pull ups every other day. Started by doing pull ups every other day
I've been working for months on doing a single unassisted pull up (i.e. no elastic band).
One thing that I think helps is just hanging. Gets you used to carrying your bodyweight in a way that assisted doesn't. What you're doing will still help with full range of motion, but maybe at the end just hang as long as you can. At some point you can also add this at the top (e.g. hop up to bar to chin and hold as long as possible)
Thanks. I've been doing unassisted holds halfway (arms at 90 degrees) but I'll add the others too
Oh, that's great, I think you've got to be almost there then!
Something else you can start adding is holding at the top then lowering down with as much control as possible, and pausing every inch or so. You can also work on shifting weight from one arm to the other between each pause (e.g. lower an inch with as much weight as you can on the left then pause for a second to shift as much as you can to the right and lower another inch).
Thanks, I will try! Currently I can do 2 reps of 4 pull ups using a 35kg elastic band
Not sure if best, but:
cleaning the kitchen in the evening
To add to this, I set a five minute timer. I have ADHD, so even starting on cleaning can feel like a mountain to climb. That five minute timer is a really good way to see just how much you can get done in that amount of time. And as an added bonus, once you've started you figure you may as well finish.
No specific habit but I was really bad for routine stuff like getting my hair cut or going to the dentist for a checkup. i figured out that my problem was remembering (or, having the social energy when I do remember) to make these appointments.
I started just making the following appointment when I attend the current appointment. It takes all the work out of it, and I've been able to keep up a much more structured and healthy life since I started.
All my fellow neurodivergents who experience executive dysfunction, take note!
Sorting things out straight away. If I need to do something I'll do it as soon as I can. I used to put things off forever. I learnt this at work when things were so busy I either did the task that day or put it off and it never got done.
At the end of the day I write a list of what needs to be done the next day in order of importance. When I come into work the first thing I do is look at that list. Eventually it becomes second nature and you don't need to write it down. However I still write it down for work because I can't afford to forget. In my personal day to day I just keep it in my head.
The best habit perhaps is meditating daily and I developed it following Tiny Habits.
GTD is up there too!
Some sort of journaling really helps when you feel like you have no direction. You can turn back the pages and see what path you took and even identify some ideas or values you want to implement in your life moving forwards. I recommend a notebook instead of a digital notes app.
This is a habit that I formed fairly recently 3-4 years ago I think. Initially I was writing down on smaller notepads which tend to get filled up quickly. Now I use a dotted notebook, so that I can draw something if I need to (although unruled notebooks also work)
Don't obsess over decorating it like the bullet journal folks do on YouTube/Instagram and if you are thinking of using apps like obsidian or logseq - don't go too far down the rabbit hole , just write down something instead.
You can have something like tasks.org for todos (organize your day) and a physical notebook to develop a vision (get some direction in your life)
GTD. Read the book and formed the habits.
Very specifically for me, two parts of Getting Things Done:
I have felt so much lighter for over 15 years because I can safely forget all these things I used to struggle to remember so that they wouldn't sneak up on me.
Getting things out of my head was easier to build as a habit at the dawn of having a computer in my pocket all day. Even back then, I simply chose to be an asshole for a few months, stopping everything to write things down or to do them on the spot if they truly took only 2 minutes. Especially taking photos of receipts and labeling them when traveling for business.
Setting reminders was similar, but rockier, since calendar apps sometimes have defects. I gradually learned which alarms to trust and learned to use those more often. Even so, Samsung Clock has at least once surprised me by setting my alarm volume to 0, causing me to miss one alarm in the last 10 years.
In both cases, I did nothing special except decide to build the habit and spend the effort to ingrain the habit through repetition over the span of a few months.
Those are both important. The habit to capture everything was important to me.
Exercise biking
How did I develop it ? : Noticed that I ~~was~~ am fat and bought an exercise bike.
Now I don't have to catch my breath everytime in get up from a seat.
Always give your best. That includes not being perfectionistic. And of course in relation to your energy level and skill. So keep it holistic.
You might think some things are more meaningful than others to do, so you do your best, but then not for things that seem to be less important. But instead of that think of it as developing yourself. And you are always there with you, doing it. In the long term it really pays off because you'll improve all across the board. From spelling and vocabulary to cooking and cleaning. It's okay to sometimes spend half an hour writing a reply to a single random person.
After all, who are you to judge what's meaningful? You see people walking everywhere in a hurry, doing important things. But is it? And perhaps that single random person really appreciated your effort and it was meaningful in some way. And perhaps your ability to put half an hour into writing a comment pays off when you are communicating with someone at work. You just don't really know. All you can do is focus on the things you are attracted to, and to do them well.