Now we're shitposting

The article actually exists

But why does it

In conclusion, the results support the hypothesis that fecal knives are usually shitty knives

-- the paper, probably

This is not the poop knife I was expecting

I have accidentally picked up a dried cat turd when younger, thinking it was rock. It was a bit fragile, easily break into dust. I realized it because it was not as heavy as an actual rock of the same size.

Based on that, my unscientific conclusion is that even if it's frozen, it'll be hard to shape and easily breaks because it behaves more like dust/sand instead of cream.

Use urine instead. Make an ice pee-k.

Gonna need a meta-analysis to be sure

That hypthesis turned out to be shit.

Davis states that the original source of the tale was Olayuk Narqitarvik. It was allegedly Olayuk's grandfather in the 1950s who refused to go to the settlements and thus fashioned a knife from his own feces to facilitate his escape by skinning and disarticulating a dog. Davis has admitted that the story could be “apocryphal”, and that initially he thought the Inuit who told him this story was “pulling his leg”.

That's a long payoff for a practical joke, but totally worth it.

Also, unsurprisingly, they won the 2020 Ig Nobel Prize in Materials Science (lol) for this one (video of the ceremony, Ig Nobel "lecture" from the lead author (also the primary pooper))

Appropriate content for the publisher

I like that it took 7 researchers to do this study. It shows commitment to the cause.

Funny how you just know this will come up as a defense in a trial somewhere somehow

They should try again using petrified coprolite..

But smearing human feces on sharpened stakes makes them super effective against invaders.

Not enough fibre/fur

I never thought I would say this but this time science is wrong

L-sevier