this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Efficient_School_870 on 2023-07-04 09:11:34+00:00.


My ( 32f) daughter “Julia” (4f) has been learning how to swim at a swimming school and is currently at a Junior (kids) level. She can go underwater for a short amount of time when she holds her breath (however the only way she chooses to hold her breath is by holding her nose )and can back float.

Julia is not comfortable with actually swimming just yet ( she can doggy paddle ) and is just happy to be near the shallow end and hanging onto the side of the pool to get around.

Since the first of this month my husbands sisters I’ll call them “Jane” (22f) and “Nora” (17f) along with my FIL and MIL have been staying with us because we all plan on going to my grandparents house for the 4th.

We have an in ground pool in our backyard which everyone has been using and yesterday we decided to have a small cookout for everyone in the house and everyone but me was outside.

Nora and Jane were racing each other in the pool and wanted my daughters to join in the race my oldest daughter (9f) knows how to swim so it would’ve been easier for her to join in but as I mentioned earlier my other daughter does not know how to swim yet.

( Up until this point I was in the pool with Julia the entire time until I had to take a cake out of the oven and when it was time to do that I’d asked Jane and Nora if they’d mind keeping an eye on her but if they didn’t want to I’d just bring Julia in with me but they said they’d watch her. )

My youngest told Nora and Jane that she didn’t know how to swim yet and they had the bright idea of doing something they saw on TikTok that is usually used for babies which is to throw them into the pool and have them find their own way up.

So Nora decided to pick my daughter up and throw her into the DEEP end pool which sent her into a panic and she was splashing everywhere and because it was the deep-end she could not touch the ground.

Because of how loud it was a ran back outside and Jane was pulling her out of the pool.

Jane and Nora were explaining what happened and said they saw a video and thought it’d help her learn how to swim Naturally I’m pissed off that they’d think throwing a 4 year old into the pool would help her learn how to swim. So I start screaming at Nora and Jane for doing stupid shit they saw online until my husband had to calm me down and I took my daughter inside.

My MIL is incredibly upset that I was yelling at Jane and Nora and took their side, Jane apologized but Nora believes she did nothing wrong.

I am still very pissed off because Julia was having a mental breakdown about getting into the bath due to what had happened earlier.

AITA?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Who would have thought that trying to drown a 4yr old child could be a bad idea?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

They are the asshole. Clearly you don't force kid to learn by traumatizing them

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's straight up assault and if anything went wrong it would be manslaughter. Keep your daughter away from these people, and keep your MIL away if she sides with them.

You're not overreacting at all. The fact that Nora doesn't even feel bad, let alone apologize, is a sign that she doesn't care about you or your daughter. They are not entitled to be in the presence of your daughter. Both of you don't own them anything. Until they have regained your trust again, they are in no position to ask for anything.