this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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top 21 comments
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago

I can't believe someone would violate the unshaking honor of the words printed on a bag like this

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (4 children)

If this dude registered as a Sovereign Citizen, he would have been fine!

I’ll show you:

Police: “What’s in the bag? Does that say ‘no drugs’ on it??”

SovCit: “I never entered into a contract with you!”

Police: Snatches bag and starts digging.

SovCit: “Neither the individual nor the STRAW MAN contracted with —- please stop!”

Police: Tackles SovCit

SovCit: “I swear this bag is not from the TRUSTEE or the STRAW MAN. It ain’t my bag. Do you have a claim against me because I’m — bro, maritime laws!!”

Hmm… I guess this doesn’t work out after all.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You forgot the part where they yelled "Without prejudice!" and signed their bag in blue ink at a 45° angle.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Drat, I failed us here! I forgot to invoke the sacred spells!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You should also say/yell "I do not consent!", because it's illegal to search or arrest someone without their consent. It was a popular spell a few years ago, but I don't see it being used much anymore, so it's possible that the cops have found a counterspell. 😉

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They paid $2000 to a guy they saw on YouTube to learn how to be tackled by that cop.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

LOL the investment pays for itself. Surely it will work next time!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Ah yes Straw Man, drug kingpin

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I am just transporting a bag. The contents are not officially licensed to be regulated by the state.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Now I want to see two meth heads play chess, itll either be the most riveting game of chess or a gladiatorial matchup either way I am entertained.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

They definitely thought it was hilarious to keep drugs in that bag. However;

Officers on Tuesday night stopped a man and a woman driving a stolen car in Southeast Portland, and they found much more than a stolen car

They broke the most important rule. When breaking the law, only break one at a time. If you're gonna carry around your fun joke drug bag, don't do it while driving a stolen car.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This is the kind of thing Chief Wiggum would proudly hold a press conference about while the thieves are carting away city hall in the background.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wonder if the dude who got caught with it was dumbfounded that his plan didn't work.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

He must have been. "Trust me, bro" always works with cops. He probably even told the officer, "you've got to tell me if you're a cop. You know that, right?"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I can't believe the bag would just lie like that!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Security through obscurity. Not the best practice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey I got the same precision scale. Neat.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I spent a few years retailing on eBay, selling off my father's vast collections (he was like a hoarder, except much of his stuff had actual value) and I had a postal scale for lighter objects since most of the things I was selling were not more than a couple of pounds.

So it looked like a drug scale.

I used to have to show people that it actually said it was a postal scale on it if they came over and asked me if I was dealing drugs.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

"Aww get out of here you rascals! Don't let me catch you again!"