A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
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Just left the dust gross buthole of texas, and now love my new home in the Minneapolis Metro,and that's despite not having found the right combo of housing/job. I live in my car and have never felt more safe (from antitrans hate) than now.
can't really leave that recommendation without qualifying it: thats probably of because I'm not a POC. I do have interactions with the police fairly regularly. And i'm accutely aware of my privilege each time.*
I'm just south of that area now. I'm considering moving up there, but no plans yet. I haven't had great experiences with healthcare in the area and it's making me not want to stay
I'ma second MN, but a little norther: Duluth :3 It's extremely white up here but all' the hunams are very nice and helpy, and Essentia is a lovely health system as far as I'm able to see (rather, the people in it are wonderful :3 ). There are waitlists for everything, though. Uhhhmmm... dunno if you're as poor as I am but services for stuff relevant to that are pretty available. Easier if you can handle phone calls. Responses are mostly by mail.
Also, we have pride events that bring critters up from Minne(apolis) so I think probably reasonably pridey <.< I struggle to go outside much though :-\ Oh, and we're on the biggest of the 10,000ish lakes in the state ;3
Also, like the Twin Cities have Minne and the boring one, the Twin Harbors have Duluth and the crappy cheesy one 😅 At least, I hear the water's bad over there. Our tap water rocks! Is delicious!
Anyway, is nice here I think. wiggles farewellily, skitters away
Oooh, good tap water sounds nice. I'm stuck with some of the hardest water in the state of Ohio (Calcium, ain't shit i can do about it unless landlords feel like installing a water softener) and it is disgusting (and ruins my hair...)
As a citizen of the Twin Cities metro I am glad you have found the experience better. I see lots of signs about LGBTQ+ support so I am glad it just isn't just signs.
I have read Illinois and Minnesota have decent laws on the books, and they might be more affordable than the other places listed (so far NYC, California, Seattle, and Denver). Probably better in cities like Chicago or Minneapolis than in rural areas, of course (which unfortunately means more expensive).
Portland is pretty LGBT+ friendly
You should come to Kalamazoo! We’ve got a really great free college tuition program (although that might not really help very much if you haven’t gone to public school here) with A really beautiful and vibrant downtown.
I major in visual arts, and the campus is integrated directly into the city. it’s actually in the middle of the first pedestrian mall in the country. It looks absolutely beautiful in the winter.
Western Michigan University and KVCC bring in an absolutely massive population of neurodivergence, forgein exchanges, and a wonderfully healthy queer community.
We’re a small enough city so that it’s not overwhelming, and large enough to avoid being a Karen infested sun-down town.
(Plus, you get to live in a city with a funny name)
Michigan is not a particularly great state for trans rights.
It's better than some places, I just wouldn't call it a safe state.
For example:
I'm sure there are many places in Michigan where trans people are welcome, but it's only "medium"-safe as a state, so it's worth knowing.
The states with the best laws:
Michigan is more like Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, or Virginia in terms of laws and trans safety.
Sources:
Note: violence against trans people occurs in in both safe and unsafe states, so the "safety" I talk about has more to do with the laws on the books and the rights trans people have in those places, for example the right to change their gender marker on legal documents or to not be discriminated against when trying to secure housing.
According to the HRC there is currently an "epidemic" of violence against trans people. Since 2013 there have been 335 confirmed trans or non-binary deaths due to violence. (We don't have accurate statistics, so it's hard to say exactly how many trans* folks are killed each year.)
Almost two-thirds (63.6%) of all victims identified to date were killed in just ten states:
- Texas (34 deaths),
- Florida (31 deaths),
- California (23 deaths),
- Louisiana,
- Georgia,
- Pennsylvania,
- Illinois,
- Ohio,
- Maryland, and
- North Carolina.
Most victims were young, trans women of color.
Denver is alright. Colorado idk. Denver pulls everyone here left. Though, for the most part I’ve been ok.
And we are voting on state wide ranked choice voting this year!
I heard! I hope it passes!
Seattle, WA
Vancouver, WA. Benefits of Washington but with lower cost of living than Seattle (although it is going up here), and right across the bridge from Portland, OR.
Why limit yourself to the US? Many other countries, including just about all of the other English-speaking countries, offer more trans rights than the US.
becoming an immigrant in a foreign country is generally much harder than moving to another state
It's hard to move out of the states, and my degree isn't a high enough level to let me get a work visa in my current field.
My plan right now is to get a degree and move out of the US in the next 2-3 years, preferably to somewhere in Europe. Texas isn't the best for trans people but since I got my license changed before the ban went in place (even though I'm def on the list :p) and I pass pretty well, I'm not too worried right now. Ofc that all depends on November, might have to emergency move to Canada if things end up going south 😅
As an immigrant you won't have the same rights as a citizen in Europe or Canada, and you will have to get someone to sponsor a visa for you to remain in those countries legally. It can be quite expensive, too - why aim for Europe or Canada and not a trans-affirming state in the U.S.?
I just know the US is not the place for me, and neither is Canada. I love the wide range of cultures in Europe, the walkable cities and public transportation, the better social programs, and the Schengen area allowing me to visit tons of other places in Europe on a whim. I just know it's right for me so I'm willing to work towards that goal, to get a work visa and work my way towards citizenship.
The Schlengen area only allows U.S. citizens to visit for 90 days. For the long-game I guess you could try to get citizenship in a EU country, though, but that will take a long time and be difficult. In the meantime you will have to find a way to get longer-term residence and visa support - might be relevant to what degree you get, if there is high demand for a particular education.
Either way, good on you for knowing what you want. There are walkable cities and public transportation in some places in the U.S., but I understand if Europe excites you more anyway. I wish you success!
90 days is a really long time haha, so I don't mind that limitation for other countries. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I am pursuing and what would be most strategic, but it seems like there is a lot of demand for IT jobs in many parts of Europe. I'm very interesting in programming, computer science, computer hardware, and networking -- really anything with computers or electronics tbh. So surely there's some niche I can fill.
I don't know what kind of service would do this, but I assume there are legal firms or services that help people figure out how to emigrate. This is a very long-term project, so it is worth really thinking through and planning, but if you can plan it even this early it might really help. I wonder even if you could find degree programs in Europe so you go to school there and might be more likely to make connections and find jobs. Getting a job is one of the hardest parts, as I understand it.
Right now I'm taking things one step at a time. I got my legal name and gender marker changed several months ago and got my name and gender marker amended on my license 2 months ago, after already having it changed on my birth certificate (thankfully it was before Texas made the ban). While there's still tons of other paperwork with different companies and entities I have to individually update (it's such a pain), the only big important document left for this is my passport, and I have everything I need to update it ready except for a new photo. So that's my first step. From there I'm not really sure what to do tbh, money is also an issue which is why I wanted to wait until I have a degree and can get a job (in community college atm). Maybe there's some way to save up and attend uni in Europe but I'm really not sure.
Where do you get the visa to stay in the country from?
Each country's immigration department website.
Unfortunately, it's quite hard to expat from the US. I've looked into it myself, and, basically, if you aren't some kind of skilled labor, good luck.
As a minneapolite, I would have to recommend Minneapolis! I've seen very little in the way of transphobia, I love my doctors, my kids like their doctors, they like their schools, all in all, moving to Minnesota was the best decision I've made!
How is the cost of living and the weather? I always hear horror stories about the weather, and I just assume it's expensive there too (though probably not as expensive as Seattle, NYC, etc.).
NYC is very queer friendly, so is Salem MA
It socks that all the places seem to be…. Expensive.
Philly has been great to me. I’d say west or the gayborhood if you can afford it. I live a bit out of the city and def see some yard signs and bumper stickers that give the ick, but there’s good queer community, and I’m meeting more trans people almost every weekend.
California