See also: Schrödinger's neurodivergence.
"What's wrong with you? Why are you like this?"
"There's nothing wrong with you, you need to stop making excuses."
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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"sounds of mom crying somewhere"
Uuh...yeah that's not part of growing up with ADHD, at least not universally in any way...and what's with the bruised legs?
and what’s with the bruised legs?
Tldr: inattentiveness, bumping into tons of stuff, and only remembering it when you look at the bruise or someone reminds you.
An explanation that's meant to be humorous because it happens to me and my wife all the time:
"Oh my god, where did THIS bruise come from?"
earlier that day
bump "ow, how did I hit the coffee table..."
bump "fuck that hurt, I swear the counter was another 6 inches over"
smash "FUCK the freezer door closes too quickly!"
has to be reminded of these events to remember tham
High pain tolerance with this is borderline dangerous
I once went on a tech support visit to someone's bosses office, finished what I was doing, left, and the guy escorting me told me my hand was bleeding the entire time.
I am absolutely that oblivious, i didn't even know what I nicked myself on, didn't even feel it
I've had cuts I didn't know about, but the worst was when I worked retail and managed to smash my upper arm on a shelf, and apparently I was bleeding bad enough to leave a broken trail from the front of the store to the break room.
I couldn't feel anything but the aching of the blunt force trauma, I didn't feel the sharp cut or any stinging at all.
I've also had plenty of small spots I have no idea how they happened, but usually I'M the one to figure it out...
...ooof. I have a high pain tolerance as well... Totally get this. A lot of things breeze off, then I wonder why I'm suddenly bruised, or my toe is broken.
I had this while working the other week. Only in my break I noticed my hand was bleeding…
This is where im blessed, my body very very rarely bruises so most people have no idea how clumsy I am on a daily basis.
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Lot of disinformation in the answers you got so I'm here to clear it up.
>Alterations to proprioception is a sensory characteristic that is inherent to ADHD symptomology.
Basically, for many people with ADHD, we aren't so good at sensing where our bodies are in relation to the world around us. So it's not abnormal to, say, run into doors when walking through them.
I'm pretty much perpetually covered in bruises.
wait fuck is THAT what it is? i've always been sorta on the fence about whether i'm adhd, but this symptom is one i have times one million.
It can also occur in folks with other neurodivergence but yes, there's a legit reason why bruises are meme-worthy (and why I get my undies in a twist when people act like it's not a legit symptom).
I've always been clumsy. It was bad enough that a couple of years ago I asked my doctor if I needed a neurology consult. Nobody at any point has said ADHD to me. (Or autism, I've probably also got that going on.) God healthcare sucks
I take stimulant medication for my crippling ADHD and while it's in my system, I am suddenly aware of where I am, in relation to other things. I don't run into things, I don't trip on nothing.
When I'm at baseline, I have been known to tip over while standing.
This isn't an ad for medication. There are massive drawbacks to it. It's just a reiteration that this isn't our fault. It's not that we're "clumsy." It's not that we're stupid. In this case it isn't even that we're unobservant! It's that neurologically typical people often "feel" where they are in relation to everything around them without trying.
We are fundamentally missing a sense of spacial relation, completely without a frame of reference to everything around us. That isn't a flaw that we possess because of something we are doing "wrong," or because we don't try. And when I realized that, especially since I'm a woman (and grew up verbally brutalized over my unbecoming bruises), it made me angry.
what’s with the bruised legs?
Impulsive adventurousness and bumping into thing.
Aha, I thought it was a reference to getting beaten, partly because of the other comment part I mentioned.
Try having a kid with ADHD sometime. I love mine, but it is also genuinely traumatic sometimes
Yeah. ADHD mom here. Had a good cry tonight about my kid and all his challenges.
I try to keep on the happy face when he's around but parenting a kid with severe ADHD is really hard sometimes.
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I do have one, but I haven't had any experiences that would make me sit down and cry or anything traumatic. He's a handful (and then some) at times, but definitely more good times than bad ones.
As a former ADHD kid myself (as in, former kid, still ADHD), I would at least worry about how the condition might affect their academic, social, and emotional development. I was an unfortunate Gifted Kid and picked up a lot of knowledge from cartoons (back when cartoons had educational value), but that came with the cost that I never learned discipline, and never learned how to study. I know that my consistently falling test scores confused and devastated my parents.
But all that was two decades ago. I hope that ADHD is more understood now and kids don't have to remain undiagnosed and untreated.
Everyone's experiences seem to differ, but I'm glad it's not this rough for everyone.
All my teachers loved me
"I know you're smart but" was a constant refrain of my school days, usually followed by "but you need to apply yourself"
I was never very funny, funny enough.
[leg shakes table and everyone asks what's doing that]
I once sat in on a parent/teacher meeting with my brother. The teacher lamented that my brother could be doing so much better if he just applied himself.
He had a 96 in the course. You know how much better he could do if he applied himself? 4%. Doesn't seem like it would be worth the effort, y'know?
I constantly went head to head with my school's Spanish teacher because I was bored and she was a bitch. Eventually the principal had a meeting with my mom and said, "look, I know your son is smarter than her, but could you ask him to chill a bit?"
"stop playing with that"
[silverware rattling intensifies]
My kid doesn't have ADHD
I went undiagnosed until mid-30s, then I finally get treatment, which allowed me to finally finish my degree while making Dean's List while getting the rest of my life in order.
What was the treatment?
20mg Adderall XR and I feel like a new person.
Thanks for sharing that. I know based on all of the descriptions I’m a classic case. I’ve just been so nervous to introduce more drugs into my life. But damn if that description doesn’t make me want to feel like a new person too though. I’ve dealt with this shit way too long.
Everyone is different, and it can be different drugs and doses to get it right. Part of it recognizing behaviors and working with them.
Thanks. Honestly my behavior and outlook is pretty great considering how potentially severe my individual case is. It’s more the symptoms that drive me nuts. I deal with them well, but I’d rather they be lessened than be constantly contended with.
Thank jeebus my job involves interesting multitasking.
Yeah, turning a strength into a weakness has been key. Continuous Improvement Manager I get to hop from cool thing to cool thing, constantly learning new things. Well, there's a ceiling and at some point you learn everyone is dumb as hell. Find the thing that pays you to go down rabbit holes profesionally.
Glad to hear that you had improved your life. What were your symptoms? I tried to get treated, but since I was highly functional (smartass) and didn't show hyperactivity during childhood, the Dr believes I only have procrastination problem when I know it isn't just that (I have terrible attention since reaching adulthood). He gave me another appointment (which I consider not going), because I don't see any point convincing people who had never experienced this kind of problem.
Find the right doctor that will listen to you. I went to a psychologist, GPs might be a bit harder. Hyperactivity, impulsively, attention issues. You might not have clearly shown symptoms from a mile away but you probably had them if you looked long enough. Since getting treatment, I've improved my life beyond what I thought was possible. I'm two quarters away from finishing my masters with a 3.7.
I'll try to find another opinion from another psychologist. Thanks for the advice. Btw good luck on your masters!
Yes, weird with the teacher relationships. A kid from my class, strong on the hyperactive side, was really hated by some teachers. One threatened to beat him up in front of the whole class, another (of the super nice relaxed ones) just threw him out with a book to study on his own in the hallway. I suspect that he never did a single line of homework or studying at home, but his test grades were too good to let him fail.
I don't have hyperactivity. The best teacher I had really hated me, because he was all about punctuality, reliability, discipline - totally not my approach to math. His teaching was great, I didn't forget a single lecture to this day, and it allowed me to get all the math course certificates for a STEM field later, although I never finished the degree. A few STEM teaches though realised that my obsession with electronics and programming was really getting somewhere and tried to motivate me to put in the time in related fields, but I never put any work in, and only for computer science was that enough to still ace it.
My own son is even stronger in the extremes. He is barely old enough for his grade, but already has to take math in the grade above. Can't skip, because his reading & writing is just on par (although in two languages). But he is extremely disruptive. His teachers seem like they understand that he puts in the same mental effort to focus and sit still, just with worse results than the average. And they support my suspicion that he has ADHD and should get tested. Well, will probably take 4 - 6 months to get an appointment, and another 4 - 6 months until there is a diagnosis.
I was the A student then next year I was the F student
"This kid is smart. Let's put him in the top class."
[gets put in the top class]
"This kid's grades are mediocre. Let's put him in the mediocre class."
[grades remain mediocre, because it was never 'challenge' that was the issue, it was 'remembering to turn in homework']
Same lel
I had top marks in the year then dropped out
I never had restless leg syndrome, however I did have one teacher claiming that I was a literal genius, while another was recommending I be held back a grade in high school. Lol. Fun times.
In AP Computer Science my teacher gave me a school award for how good I was and had me lead lessons and was constantly called brilliant, and I got a 5 on the AP test without an issue. I also got a C in the class.
I'm now 31 and have dropped out of college because, despite never struggling in a class, I stopped doing any of the work when I thought caffeine was causing me issues because I was addicted (which I totally was) and quit it. I just realized I'm textbook ADHD and no one bothered to tell me before. The caffeine was what kept me sane.
Is the bruised legs from punching yourself in frustration? That's why I would have bruises like that. That might not be the ADHD, though. It could be the autism or the borderline personality disorder. And it's actually a coping mechanism to hit myself instead of breaking things.
Nah, that's accidently whacking yourself on things. Doorknobs are my nemesis (hips/waist), as are countertop corners (knees) and cabinet doors (back of head)
What is this "growing up" you talk about?
I freaking hate RLS
Too real.
RLS sucks, gabapentin seems to help in larger doses but I still get the urge to ~~punch my thighs off and~~ do cardio at 3am.
Gabapentin is great but doesn't seem sustainable. Gives me a hangover and tolerance increases too fast :(
The tolerance going up really fast is the worst part for me. I've found a little bit more success by taking lower doses on weekends and my normal dose on nights when I actually need to sleep at a reasonable hour.
so fucking real :(
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