this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 days ago (3 children)

0 emissions

FYI: Horses fart and methane is a greenhouse gas more potent than carbon dioxide.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago

I'm also intrigued by the "costs $1000 and $750/year to maintain" claim, as the horse people I know spend closer to 20x that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Humans also fart methane, is that a reason not to ride them?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

If your ride consents to that, just pug the hole.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

$750 a year to maintain health

Lol

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

$750/month if you have to stable it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Yeah, this might be 750 dollars worth of bottom of the barrel, wholesale, oats needed to give the average horse enough calories to survive.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 days ago (4 children)

You will get an OWI if you ride a horse drunk.

Source: I know a guy who trained his horse to ride from the bar to his house on its own. Cops still pulled him over because he was sleeping on the horse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Dumbest shit ever. I literally have a designated driver under me!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure it depends on the state and whether or not that state considers a horse to be a vehicle/device. Alabama, for example, I believe does not consider a horse to be either, while I think California does. There's this story that sometimes gets submitted to TIL-type communities where a man from Louisiana was decided to be ineligible for a DUI charge after doing exactly that, but he was still given a court summons for "disturbing the peace by intoxication".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

In sweden there were some cases where people lost their driving license because they ... Walked home drunk so yes it do depends a lot. Guess drunk horse riding there is not legal.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Where is this guy getting a horse for $1,000 from?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I mean if you want any old horse and can transport it you can often get them for free. They're like pianos

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

you can often get them for free

The maintenance cost of a "free" horse is anything but

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Oh I'm not discounting that. Free pianos don't tend to be cheap either to get tuned, and that's if you can even tune them in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

does a horse not transport itself ?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

Not in a way amenable to seal the deal a few cities across, unless you get a one way ride up there and you’re prepared to camp/hotel a few nights on the way back

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Isn't that the point though. He's replacing his car with a horse because apparently a horse makes more sense in this guy's world.

If after buying the horse you have to use a vehicle to transport it, doesn't that invalidate the argument?

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 days ago (5 children)

That is a shockingly cheap horse.

[–] rumba 33 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Ignoring lack of parking, slow travel and waste disposal, it's more like 3-6k if you already live on a farm. 5-10k if you board it with someone, and you'll likely need a car to get you to the stables.

A bicycle however...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

Believe it or not, riding a horse while drunk is also an offense in many places.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Except you can't drink and ride a bike in many areas. I doubt most cops would enforce it though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

I had a friend back in my younger years who got a drinking and driving ticket on his bicycle. Around 1995.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was drunk and high out of my gourd one night biking home along Bloor Street and got a ticket for speeding lol. This was maybe 2004. I have thankfully matured since then.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Wow, it's honestly my dream to get a speeding ticket on my bike. I saw my opportunity one day where there was a school zone and a cop, so I pedaled as fast as I could, but still didn't get pulled over. I even bombed down a hill doing almost double the speed limit, and still no ticket.

I'll get it one of these days.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

You can in Germany. I only once fell into some bushes, but since I could not remember that it does not count.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 days ago (1 children)

These prices are ridiculously incorrect, but we can dream and strive to build a horsepilled world.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

My in-laws have some horses on their little hobby farm. They grow and bale their own hay which gives them an excuse to play with their antique tractors and makes it affordable enough to keep the "hay burners" around. I agree the prices anon provides are pretty rediculously low

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I'd feel bad about leaving them tied to a tree while I'm at work, so I'd probably just go with a bike which is fueled by snacks and doesn't even shit!

[email protected] ftw

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

a bike which is fueled by snacks and doesn't even shit!

Well the actual motor that powers the bicycle does shit, though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Yeah, but I was gonna anyway.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 days ago

False - you can get a DUI on a horse (in some states).

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think the horse pill means what anon thinks it means…

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What constitutes reliable is a matter of opinion I suppose, but the first concrete statement of fact:

0 emissions

Wrong, right out of the gate.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

I'm just here to appreciate horseface gigachad, nei-ei-ei-ei-eighhhhh 😆

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Surprisingly one of the more tolerable smelling fecal matter on the planet.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Also the cost of fixing a horse is a new horse

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