This is not my Life

WHY IS THERE A "SHARE" BUTTON RIGHT NEXT TO THE FLUSH BUTTON!?

...and there is a ten second delay while your flush command is sent to an overburdened raspberry pi in China.

I found a "smart" Wi-Fi bulb in the trash and used a throwaway phone to pair it through its app. It was adjustable white and RGB, so I put it in the bathroom and thought I'd trigger it to be dim red (cicardian rhythm, you know) whenever it was night (using a built-in RTC, NTP or light sensor, heck, even a double switch click, whatever it was capable of). Well, nope! It only connects to Wi-Fi when powered on (understandable) and only takes orders from an external server god-knows-where, with limited local functionality (party-light cycling, WB matching, optionally remembering the last setting). It does not notify the server when its power turns on (events only work when switched via app or smart button by the server) so it cannot be configured as a "smart event". The closest I could do would be to create a time event every minute:

22:00 turn on 25% red
22:01 turn on 25% red
22:02 turn on 25% red
•••
04:29 turn on 25% red
04:30 turn on 100% warm white
04:31 turn on 100% warm white
•••
21:59 turn on 100% warm white

I'm pretty sure there is a limit to timed actions and I can't just do it this way, so I'm not writing a shell script that does the cca 10k keypresses required. I guess I know why it got trashed while still working as intended.

I'll be looking into Home *Assistant and see if there is a compatible firmware to flash on this piece of shit. Or I'll just use my electrical engineering skills to combine red and orange LEDs into another bulb and give it a separate switch. *(Edit)

I hate this so much. I hate how true it is.

Funny today, frustrating piece of shit in 50yrs (at most)