this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
283 points (99.6% liked)

The Onion

4219 readers
1519 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 13 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Can relate. Especially the last line part.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Same. Literally me.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Definitely not the Picard Maneuver

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The Picard maneuver here would be to shave it early and look the same age for like 30 years

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pretty much what I did. I started to thin on top in my early thirties. Nothing major at the time but it was obvious where it was going so I shaved it all off and have been since.

Aside from a few more wrinkles I look pretty much the same twenty years later...

...though my beard has recently started to sprout a few grey hairs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

You've gotta keep the beard though. Unless you're Patrick Stewart or The Rock, every movie ever made says that a dude with a shaved head AND face is untrustworthy.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Heartwarming. She noticed but decided to follow her heart of hearts and say yes anyway.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Heart of hearts, is that the new name for Gspot?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

The way to her heart is financial stability.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

His cock reaches all the way to the bank?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Same thing to some women.