Seems pretty natural for a 4 year old to not always understand their own emotions. “Main character syndrome” seems a little harsh to me.
There might be some emotions around going school/leaving home that your daughter doesn’t fully understand. Maybe exploring emotions with fiction will help. The book color monster by Anna Llenas was great in helping my son better understand his own emotions.
I also noticed you are addressing both the rabbit and the emotion in the following sentence.
It’s okay to be sad. You’ll see pink bunny soon. You have your teddy bear in the car, hug him.
This can be hard to parse for a four year old. My son is almost getting four and he has quite the temperament. I’ve learned that it really helps to disconnect the emotion from the “trigger” by acknowledging it and talking about the emotion and how to deal with it in isolation.
Him: I wan to brink my truck!
Me: you can’t bring the trucks.
Him: give me my truck I want it.
Me: No, we’ll have to keep it at home.
Him: crying I want my trucks.
Me: Does that make you feel sad?
Him: yes I want my truck.
Me: nohh, it’s no fun to be sad!
Him: booooo
Me: I know of something that helps when you’re sad!
Him: huh?
Me: feeling sad is no fun at all. It helps to get a really nice hug when you feel sad.
hug
Him: smile
Me: do you feel better?
Him: a little
Me: Alright let’s go!
Him: okay sob
We’ve performed this act quite a few times and pretty often other topics pop up throughout. Talking them to their conclusions really clears the air and is a big bonding experience.
We’ve been dealing with anger and sadness mostly. When your daughter is angry it’s important to let her vent. She might need some help to start venting but it shouldn’t be to hard to get her going. When she’s scared it’s important let her know you’ll be there to help her confront it and she’s sad she’ll need some comfort/security. Hugs seem to do the trick for us.
TLDR:
- Reading tip: color monster by Anna Llenas
- isolate emotion from trigger
- provide coping mechanism depending on type of emotion.