this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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ADHD

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Does anyone feel like they’re missing social cues that neurotypical people understand without being taught? I’m missing out on career opportunities because of it. Does any type of guide/rulebook exist to effectively mask?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is the one I’ve found most helpful, especially the last chapter:

http://www.afieldguidetoearthlings.com

I don’t know if it helped me mask better, but it made neurotypical behavior seem less confusing and more predictable.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Step 1: Read How to make friends and influence people. Step 2: Cry, bc half the book is "listen and pay attention"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm sounds intriguing. I guess there definitely must be a reason it’s so popular. add to cart

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Step 1.1: Download free ebook (https://archive.org/details/howtowinfriendsinfluencepeople_202004/page/n6/mode/1up) (it's so old that it's public domain)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I’ve read somewhere that people who have ADHD are often also autistic. Is it possible that you have undiagnosed mild autism?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The thought crossed my mind. I feel like often after the fact I realize the social cues. It’s like I pick up on them but I’m almost too focused on my thoughts/desires to act according to the social cues; then later I regret not acting on those social cues. I’ll have a little voice that says I shouldn’t say/do the thing but the impulse is to strong to stop myself. I guess I don’t know a whole lot about mild autism however, wouldn’t I like not understand the error I made until someone directly explains it?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Others may have better recommendations, but can’t truly recommend books about coping or masking. Guidebooks, while informative, did not work for me.

One of the books called Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by russel barkley, a clinical psychologist, who had done research on adhd was okay, but I would recommend reading it objectively. The information felt outdated and it may not apply to everyone with adhd. Driven to distraction was okay too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The book "What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?" may be what you're looking for.

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