Hilarious
this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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After the presidential election that fall, so the prophecy went, God would begin to “position” Johnny and his group of friends to do great things.
That's strange, because God told me he wanted Johnny and his friends to go fuck themselves with a cactus.
Jerry Pearce’s “flowing oil,” as he calls it, turned the carpet capital into another kind of capital: the center of a spiritual revival.
That's strange, because last I checked, this made less news than that tent party that one group had for a couple of weeks, and people are leaving organized religion faster than they can be indoctrinated—to the point of irrelevance in about 50 years.
Also, let's pretend this was real for a sec: so what? God made an oily Bible, but he can't be bothered to clear out the cancer ward in one Children's hospital? 50%? 25%? Nope, we get Johnny and Jerry Quest over here with their magic Bible, because God is good...? GFY.