Can confirm. Don't want to be brave. Don't want to be controversial. Don't want to piss anyone off. Don't want to stick it to anyone. Just want to live my own life and be left the fuck alone like literally everyone else. This very real problem that I was born with is my issue to fix and no one else's. And my life would have been a hundred times easier if I'd been listened to when I first voiced this problem as a minor.
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"We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows," he says. "But ultimately, that's not how it's supposed to be."
Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don't want "visibility." "Trans visibility" feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.
I want for it to not be a big deal. Some of us being visible is how that happens. Passing is great. I shouldn’t have to disclose my medical history to strangers or coworkers or even friends, but I want to be able to chime in when it’s relevant. Sorta like how many people are about their extra nipples.
Lmao that's a really good analogy. If i had extra nipples, i wouldn't want "extra nipples day of visibility" but i also wouldn't want anyone to make a big deal about me taking my shirt off at the beach.
Yeah, though I think the context of day of visibility matters. It’s relatively young, and was created because for a while we only gathered as a community for day of remembrance. The idea was that we should be seen and loved while we’re alive too.
It’s become something more, a showcasing of our presence and a celebration of our existence. It’s mostly just freshly out people being really loudly out in my experience. But I’ve read the names every year since 2014. I’m glad we take a different day to remember that we live.
I don't want to be invisible, I want to be seen and heard by my family, friends and community. I spent too long trying to hide, and I'm happy to share who I am if it means that I can help reduce the stigma for anyone in the future.
They aren't trying to force you specifically to be visible. If you want to continue to live in the shadows, by all means do so.
But by the same token, they shouldn't be forced to live in the shadows if they don't want to.
As far as I can tell, it's just about getting to a point where it's okay for those who want to, to be able to go out in public and be who they are (and therefore be visible) without getting insulted, or discriminated against or killed for it.
That in no way affects your ability to continue to do things the way you want to.
if you wanna be invisible then you should have kids, so you could become transparent :P
Oh man. I am just remembering the last time we visited my wife's family in her home village. Whenever I spoke her family would be startled for a moment with a look "oh the sperm donor breadwinner is also here.".
It's funny how it worked out. My brother-in-law decided to finally introduce his trans fiance to his parents after our visit. He felt confident they wouldn't hate her after spending three weeks playing with their grandkids.
Ah passing privilege. "Trans visibility" doesn't mean people being able to clock you it means that people are fighting so that if somebody does clock you, you are still safe and supported.
I desperately wish I could be invisible, but I can't so I have to go the other direction. If I am invisible I am by default in the closet so "trans visibility" means that I am seen, understood and that people are able to understand so that I get to live too. It isn't exactly fair to us to disavow the work we do when it ultimately benefits you in the long run just because you essentially "got mine". You don't want to fight that's fine, you have the benefit of not having to ... But don't spit on the people who are.
It is illegal for me to piss at work. I am not legally allowed to use the men’s restroom. I do anyways, because I’m a fat, hairy dude with a beer belly. If someone were to out me, I would likely lose my job, cause my workplace to get into trouble, and would probably be forced to move to escape death threats.
All I want is to take my testosterone shot once a week and do my job. My transness is irrelevant to anyone who is not having sex with me or my doctor.
Why would you being trans affect the person having sex with your doctor?
It won't, it's just polite to consider them in these kinds of things, you know?
It makes a lot more sense if OP is having sex with their doctor.
I too choose this guy's doctor
Trans people are asking for nothing more to be respected, have access to health care and ideally to stop being hate crimed. But these basic facilities are threatened by those who need an "boogey monster other" to demonize for political points. Gender is such a given to most people that we as Trans people threaten their world view simply by existing outside of a narrow binary. Many feel justified in exerting control over our bodies, purely because our existence is too much of a nagging open question that threatens their worldview.
I'm here.
I'm queer.
And I'm filled with fear.
In the game of ~~patriarchy~~ trans rights, ~~women~~ trans people are not the opposing team. They are the ball.
Yup. I just want to live my life being left alone.
I don't understand why being trans is such a big issue. I'm not trans and I'm definitely nowhere on the LGBT spectrum, so I'll never fully understand what it's like to experience gender dysphoria or be attracted to my same sex. However, none of that is relevant since it costs nothing to be considerate.
One of our librarians recently transitioned, and it effected absolutely nothing. I'm just as comfortable interacting with them as before, literally the only thing that changed is the pronouns I use with them. That's it.
If someone is getting bullied, I'll stand up for them the same if they're white or black, male or female, gay or not, etc. Bullying is never okay, so I really don't see how differences the target exhibits is relevant to anything. If there's a law that makes life more annoying or less equality vs others, we should reevaluate that law. That's just common sense to me.
Don't ask me my opinions on trans and adjacent issues because I'm not very well educated on them so I'll probably accidentally say something offensive. Regardless, I don't see any reason for civility to not be the norm here, regardless of how well educated you are about it. Just be nice to people, and stand up to bullies. That alone would probably solve most of the issues here. I don't understand why people need to be such jerks...
I have too many daily struggles to prioritize the political fight, though I would like to be able to do more.