this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

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volcel-kamala peterson-pain

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It makes them sound like Warhammer 40k space marines harvesting their gene-seed from fallen marines to keep their Chapter limping along. volcel-kamala

CW: Cum, pre-Butlerian Jihad

spoiler

In the hushed privacy of a dimly lit chamber, far removed from the tumult of battle, a clandestine operation was underway. Under the flickering glow of arcane devices, a team of specialized technicians, their faces shrouded in masks of anonymity, meticulously harvested the life-giving essence of fallen warriors.

These were the Sementers, the guardians of their Chapter's generative fluid, the vital spark that ensured the perpetuation of their lineage. With practiced precision, they extracted the precious seminal fluid from the bodies of their fallen brethren, their movements guided by a blend of scientific expertise and ancient ritual.

The seminal fluid, a potent elixir of genetic potential, was more than just a biological fluid; it was a symbol of their virility, a testament to their Chapter's unwavering vigor. Its harvesting was a sacred duty, a solemn obligation to ensure the continued existence of their Chapter.

As they worked, the Sementers chanted arcane incantations, their voices echoing through the chamber, a mystical chorus to the fallen and a tribute to their enduring legacy. The seminal fluid, carefully collected and preserved, would be transported back to the Chapter's fortress-monastery, where it would be nurtured and protected, a precious resource for the perpetuation of their lineage.

The harvesting of seminal fluid was not without its challenges. The procedure demanded meticulous care and precision, for the slightest error could render the precious fluid unusable. Moreover, the Sementers were constantly at risk of discovery, their clandestine operation shrouded in secrecy to protect it from the prying eyes of their enemies.

But the Sementers were undeterred, their resolve unwavering. They understood the gravity of their mission, the importance of preserving their Chapter's genetic heritage. Their dedication was a testament to the unwavering loyalty that bound them to their Chapter, a loyalty forged in the fires of battle and tempered by the sacrifices of their fallen comrades.

As the last vials of seminal fluid were sealed and secured, the Sementers emerged from the shadows, their faces grim but resolute. They had fulfilled their duty, ensuring that the legacy of their fallen brothers would live on, forever etched in the genetic tapestry of their Chapter.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Whenever I read 40k lore I can never tell if it is early stuff trying to be satirical, or later stuff that is completely sincere in its ridiculousness.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

A 1+ minute video about extracting cum from a cadaver by freaks obsessed with their genetic code, amazing

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They missed the opportunity to have cum flowing though the hourglass lmao

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Did they? It was literally white fluid dripping through the hourglass onto flowers. I thought that was cum, on the nose

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Peterson launches Operation Milk, the epic retrieval of bodies off the battlefield with the latest in cutting edge cock milking tech. We have the technology, we can milk them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What would we do without men?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

all my cum, gone stalin-garrison

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago

shit gets weirder by the hour

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

just frantically tweeting at elon for all the latest in cum preservation tech

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

looking into it

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Everyone! We need to get to the idf-cool ballsack STAT! Bring your needles, a cooler of ice, and a six pack!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

"bring our children back now"

LMAO, by doing what?

Indiscriminately killing them while you flatten Gaza?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

WTF!? Why was that entire semen extraction subplot part of this? It's literally unrelated to their entire campaign and so weird.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Oh now they're all about racial purity. Very normal.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Very cool.

Waiting for the Hamas response where they call for Jizz Jihad by Arabs into Israeli sperm banks or some shit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

even after seeing multiple posts I did not think the cum thing was real

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Dead soldier wanking officer, reporting for duty, Sir.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I thought there had dedicated CumEx squadrons for this. Why did this woman have to do it herself? (I didn't watch the video and no one can make me.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Beating these people to death is now a necessity for my mental health