submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 56 points 2 weeks ago

My wife's mother had a complete month-long meltdown the day she found out that my wife, who was the girlfriend at the time, had sex for the first time. Called her a slut, said nobody would ever want her now, life was over, etc. My other half was 20 years old when this happened, so it's not like the MIL was worried about her teenager.

Of course we got married months after that, and I'm the only one my wife has been with. Almost immediately the woman who flew into a rage over her daughter being touched by someone else was insisting that I get her pregnant pretty much every time we saw her. We did have one kid, after a few years.

But my wife, who is an amazing person, has a petty streak. When her mom spends the night, I have to make sure I'm hydrated and rested because the wife will be loudly fucking my brains out, because she wants her mom to have to listen to us. She also has said, many times this year, that we are trying for a baby, which will cause someone to point out that I've had The Snip™, to which she will reply "Well we are going to keep trying anyway".

Such antics have kept relatives from asking when we will have kids. You won't get a kid out of us, bit you WILL get Too Much Information.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

So I take you you really look forward to your MIL’s visits then eh

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Not really... she's difficult and combative and will believe any conspiracy theory unless it's one that's been proven true. My wife and I already spend almost every night wrapped around each other, she's just a lot more screamy.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I am not saying that potential trauma was worth it for his wife, but there is a silver lining for just about everything.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

It wasn't fun for her back then, but she laughs about it now. Serious "What are you going to do about it?" energy.

[-] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Mormons are different as they don't drink alcohol. They will instead straight up ask couples whether they're trying to have a baby like it's the only possible topic

[-] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Yup. And the only way to get them to stop is to embarrass them.

“So, when are you planning on having kids?”

“I dunno, maybe when I’m no longer infertile.”

[-] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago

"When he stops busting in my ass"

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

"when he stops finishing on that couch you're sitting on"

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"And don't get me started on the tea you just drank..."

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Look, humans are basically one long hole mom so eventually this has to work

[-] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

My mom got sick of the question from Relief Society ladies and would reply, "I dunno, how is YOUR sex life?"

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Oh hi, Mark.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

“Well Sister Sheryl, are you and your husband still sleeping in different beds as you tell him to ‘bridle his passions’?”

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Dunno how getting equestrian gear into the bedroom is supposed to help, maybe Sister Sheryl has a stud service fetish

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

lol, I was alluding more towards the shaming that used to go on towards husbands who wanted sex more often than their wives and the many publications/therapists who made it seem like men were asking for too much

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Her condition is "stable"

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

@KamikazeRusher You can also justify by the fact that "today's kids no longer have any form of respect for the eldery, why would I have a kid myself?" or other crap like that


[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

That's why I'm having my wife binge drinking while pregnant. Jokes on them!

[-] balderdash9 11 points 2 weeks ago

This face is killin me lol

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

So glad my family isn’t like this because both me and my mom hate the taste of alcohol

this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
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