this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 70 points 9 months ago (8 children)

Man, I think the "don't talk to me before my coffee" shit is so cringy. It's overplayed and honestly if you can't be a functional human before having drugs, you gotta sort yourself out.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 9 months ago

Counterpoint: people have to get up at all kinds of horrible hours of the day in order to enslave themselves to their employers voluntarily, so letting them take back a few minutes of their day through passive aggressive mug-credos is the least we can do.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think you’re missing the point. People don’t like to be bombarded at their job , shitty or not as soon as they get there. But at least this way you don’t come off as an asshole.

I miss when cringe actually meant cringe, not it’s just things people don’t like.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

The condescending tone in Now you make speak would absolute mark the cup owner as an asshole to me.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I can't function without coffee but I'm also not going to make it other people's problem.

Like I'll be unable to truly "get awake" and will suffer from migraines, but I'm not going to act like it's not my responsibility. I'll groggily respond to ya instead of being an antisocial bitch.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

This is me, I work with kids everyday and dig deep to try to give them a good day. I have a co worker who doesn't though, it pisses me off that she's rude and cranky with kids before "I have my coffee". Which is why I thought of this meme..

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

As a parent, thank you for engaging so in your job!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

This is actually for alcohol /s

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Hi, I have ADHD and “sorting myself out” was getting a prescription for drugs, without which I cannot be a functional human being. A lot of people I’ve met with un-diagnosed/recognised ADHD use caffeine as a crutch. It is usually the only widely available, legal, and relatively non-harmful stimulant they have access too. Thanks for reinforcing a harmful stereotype that prevents people like me from accessing life-saving medication.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Tell that to my job that demands I'm awake at 6am after working until midnight the night before.

The difference is coffee isn't gonna make me steal my neighbors TV for more coffee.

With that said don't talk to me before I've smoked my first bowl because you're all fuckin annoying until then.

PS you were all annoying before I started smoking weed and now you're tolerable

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

"Don't talk to me before I've had my meth."

Yeah, exactly, when you substitute another drug in, it sounds just as fucked up as it actually is.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I think you're onto something: we need a tasty, hot meth beverage if broader acceptance is the goal.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Me taking amphetamines with my morning coffee: uh yea, totally.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

“Don’t talk to me before I’ve had my Lisdexamphetamine”

Uhhh…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

@Tehgingey @OttoVonNoob there's more to that. The moment of quietness, reading a bit maybe, relaxing before getting to work. All of it is kind of in this don't talk to me territory. Then a day of hell can begin.

Source: I drink one small cup of good coffee daily, but that is the peace moment.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A scale on the outside of an opaque container is as dumb as people who say “don’t talk to me before I have had my coffee”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Dude I am not a morning person and morning is whenever tf I wake up. When I wake up I'm a child. I have no regulations on my emotions and no filter for my thoughts.

We say that because we know you're a sensitive little baby and can't handle us when we're tired. God forbid anyone have empathy for not wanting to feel exhausted.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That sounds like a you problem.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Who the fuck else did they blame, you cynical dickhead? They literally said "when I wake up I'm a child". That is, clear as day, an admission of their fault in this. Don't step up with a "gotcha" before you finished reading. It makes you look simply desperate to put someone down.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I drink coffee before I leave home.