this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago (3 children)

This picture was really funny to me until I learned chocolate is toxic to birds. Polly prolly ded

[–] [email protected] 74 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

Well then I guess I relate with Polly even harder.

That being said, no worries to be had here. Birds not dead as bird wasn't real. Not fully anyway. It's from that godawful Sandler movie, Jack and Jill. The movie has a real bird but for this shot they put it in the fountain using CGI.

Polly safe. All good.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Stamets, you've been kinda making a lot of self harm jokes and I just want you to know that a lot of people here, we really like you, and you make us smile and we'd be awful sad to lose you or see you hurt. So if you ever need someone to talk to send me or one of these kind souls a message because there's all kinds of friendships and you're my Funny Internet Friend™ and friends listen.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'll be fine. Just dealing with some stressful stuff and the holidays are not a good time for me. Thanks though <3

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The holidays are rough. It's the most stressful time of my year and everybody acts like it's supposed to be super happy. Anyway I hope you're having a good day buddy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yeah they just mess me up. I wasn't really given gifts as a kid but my sister got them. I got like... 3, maybe 4, in my first 20 years. Not even for Christmas. For any holiday. I was expected to clean up everyone's gift wrappers and to help handing stuff out but wasn't allowed to really participate. Distinct memories of reading Twas the Night Before to my sister while she emptied her stocking and seeing everyone have a stocking on the fireplace but me. I really fucking hate this time of year. Like the music though. I'm a mess.

My day is okay so far though. It is what it is. I hope you have an amazing day like you deserve <3

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That's some shit, I'm sorry your starter-pack family had some real issues. You probably realized this at some point since then, but just in case you need to hear it, you should know that you're valid, and you matter, and you deserve to be included and to belong. That goes for anyone else reading this too, no child deserves neglect and we're all just babies. I hope you've found other people since then, but whatever small level of connection we have here, you're a human out there somewhere and I really value your presence. You make me smile multiple times a day. Thanks for being you and I hope you have an even better day than the one you've wished me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I can really relate. My mood tanks everytime I see a reminder of the holidays. I used to have a friend who was also estranged from his family, and we'd be grumpy arseholes together over Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Hope you get through it OK, this place wouldn't be the same without you.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Looks like a sulfur crested cockatoo. The CGI sells it because this is the kind of shit they would do.

Plenty of videos showing their real life shenanigans. (E.g. “cockatoo eating croissant” or “cockatoo opening bin”).

I love them, but Jesus they can be a pain in the arse sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

It’s from that godawful Sandler movie, Jack and Jill

DUNKACCINO? DON'T MIND IF I DO-

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Government drone confirmed

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Why is chocolate bad for all animals except humans?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Plants’ main objective is to make baby plants. Some, like cacao, peppers, coffee beans, have opted to be bad for some/most animals so they don’t get eaten. Turns out that humans are pretty metal and like chocolate, capsaicin (the spicy compound in peppers), and caffeine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Same with nicotine and alcohol.

It's also theorized that humans consumed these things to help with parasites

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Quetzalcoatl wanted it that way - it's our special snack, animals can fuck off.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

So there's more for us, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh man it's the cum slut bird Tumblr post

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Okay listen up cum slut...

Fuck. What an iconic line.