Am I the Asshole?

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AITA for telling my husband to move in with his friends. (lemmit.online)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Illustrious-Grabb on 2023-07-23 18:38:25.

Me (f25) and my husband (m26) have been married for 3 years, we have 2 boys. A 2 yr old and a 7 month old.

I’m a stahm and do 100% of the childcare and household chores. My husband works, then goes gym and finishes off his day relaxing playing video games for a few hours.

I spend my day running after the kids, feeding them and him. Cooking dinner. Taking them to the park. Bathing them, putting them to bed and then finish off my day doing laundry and cleaning. I hardly ever get 10 mins to myself. To top it all off I have to wake up 3 times during the night to feed our baby.

He’s taken a 2 week holiday from work and instead of spending time with his family he’s gone back to his hometown to visit friends.

Every night he calls me to tell me how I’ve ruined his life by moving him away and how he’s found a 3 bed for us to move in over there.

I told him if he loves his friends so much why doesn’t he move in with them. They could have a blast and spend all day with each other sucking each other off then going gym together and playing video games together all night long.

He got pretty mad and hasn’t spoken to me since telling me I’m a AH for saying such things to my own husband.

AITA

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[–] druphis 1 points 1 year ago

A new marriage combined with kids makes transition difficult, and it sounds like you both have had a lot of transition in the last 3 years.

I know this isn't a relationship advice thread, it is AITA. This situation is so much more complicated than yes or no. Leaving your wife to take on all the responsibility of being a parent and vacationing without her is an asshole move.

At the same time, he seems to be hurting from the little you shared. If he is saying that the move ruined his life, he is likely struggling from loneliness. You didn't describe any connection between the two of you at all. You guys may just need to have some sincere conversations about all of the change in the last 3 years and what you each need.