Try syncthing, it's cross platform and peer to peer. You can it up on a home server as well if you want.
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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Self hosted you could use Plex to automatically upload all photos to your computer then download as needed to the other one.
Personally I use Google photos to do this and it works great but will probably require you to get a subscription depending on the size of your library.
My personal phone is android with a work iPhone and I want to transfer things over sometimes so I set up my work phone to upload as well.
It’s been a while since I used google photos, but I’m pretty sure it downsizes photos unless you pay for it.
Not a FOSS solution but Google Photos works pretty well tbh