It takes time. Things I've deleted still show up as "deleted by creator" but only for maybe a day or two. After that, they completely vanish and I'm unable to find them even with a saved link.
I don't know if this is because of the undo feature, or just the inherent nature of how lemmy sends things around to other instances.
That said...
I don't want to make comments knowing that I'm permenantly etching my username into the stone of the thread forever with no ability to delete it.
You shouldn't be posting online at all then. Even if the service you use works flawlessly and timely in obeying your request for deletion, it doesn't affect any number of other factors that could cement your posts online forever. This used to be rule 1 of the Internet: don't post anything you don't want out in the world forever. Someone or something can be archiving and reposting anything and everything you or anyone else posts anywhere on the public Internet.